Why Are You Weighting?

The other day I was out and overheard a snippet of a conversation between two people, with one of them lamenting about how she had fat genes, and how her whole family was fat. She then went on to say that she was doomed to be fat her entire life, because her DNA was programmed this way. That’s all I heard of this conversation. 

Then the next day, I was in the food court of a mall, grabbing a quick bite during a busy day.  I ended up sitting beside a family; mother, father and 2 children. I’m guessing, but I’d say the kids were about 10 and 12 years old. Every member of this family sitting next to me was carrying significant extra weight. And guess what they were having for lunch?

If you guessed greasy fast food, you are correct! And not just the regular servings of greasy fast food, but the up-sized portions. Every single one of them was sitting there with extra large fries and extra large soda, in addition to their “main course” which was either a hamburger or chicken fingers. And the kids both had a deep-fried dessert on their tray too.

So this got me to thinking back to the conversation I had overheard the day before, with the woman complaining that she had fat genes. I began to wonder whether it is truly our genes alone that control our weight, or was it more likely to be familial habits that ultimately lead to everyone being overweight?

Since the family I know best is my own, I began to think about our style of eating and relating to food. While I was young, I was the only member of our family with a weight problem, but in the last 10-15 years I have seen every single member of my birth family struggle to some degree or another with their weight.

As a family we tend to congegregate at my father’s house. He and his wife have a lovely home that is large enough to accomodate us all, and they are gracious hosts who love to have the entire family all together whenever possible.
And like with most gatherings of people, there is food. Lots and lots of food.  You’ll never go hungry at a Grieve family function! There’s always lots to drink too, from soda to beer to wine to mixed drinks.

And there’s always lots of junk food before the main meal! If we are gathering outdoors, the back yard table will be filled with chips, nuts, chocolate, popcorn, and whatever treat my Dad saw at the store that he just had to try. And if we are indoors, the spread is exactly the same on the table in the family room.

My Dad has some weight to shed. I have seen his weight go up and down year after year after year. His wife loves him dearly, and really does try to keep him in line food-wise, but he loves to eat and drink.

My Dad’s father was also very heavy, and ended up with adult onset diabetes in his later years. My grandfather used to sneak treats at all hours of the day, and we’d find candy wrappers “hidden” (not too well!) all over the house.

Then my siblings and I have all been on diets at some point or another.

So do we Grieve’s have a genetic predisposition to gaining weight, or do we just have a multitude of bad habits that have been passed down? Habits like snacking between meals? Habits like appetizers before the main meal? Habits like dessert with every meal, often with multiple choices, which usually means multiple servings? Habits like consuming beer and wine on a regular basis?

I’d be willing to bet that most of the weight issues in our family have to do with these habits that have developed. After all, when we were kids, I was the only one who had to deal with my weight, all the other members were average-weighted. I doubt the DNA changed as the people got older. More likely years of bad habits finally caught up.

Children pick up on what the adults are doing, (more so than on what they are saying) and if a child sees an adult eating a certain way, the child is going to want to imitate that. The family that sat next to me in the food court was a prime example of that. (Children are also going to build habits around exercise based on what the parents are doing too. When was the last time you saw a fat family all out for a bike ride together?)

So if you think you are genetically programmed to be fat, take a look at your eating (and exercise) habits relative to your relatives! Chances are you can give up the “I am a victim of my genetics” story, and start taking control of your life and your weight. I’m here to tell you you have far more control than you may be aware of. You don’t have to be like your heavy relatives! It’s not all in your DNA!

Make it a great day!

Stacey Grieve

PS….the audio book version of Why Are You Weighting? will be released very soon, along with the paperback book. Now you’ll have your choice of formats to help you finally get a handle on your weight. Keep checking the blog and newsletters for the release date, and if you are in the Toronto area, I hope to see you at the book release! (details coming soon!)

We’ve all heard the saying “Seeing is believing”, and many of us actually live our lives using this as one of our guidelines. Once we see something, then we’ll believe (in) it. But did you know that this saying could be derailing your weight reduction/maintenance efforts?

With weight, you will find that you are much more successful when you turn this phrase around, so that it reads “Believing is seeing”.  A simple shift in grammar, a HUGE shift in results.

With regards to weight, many of us don’t really believe, deep down, that we will ever be at our ideal weight. For some, it may have been a long time, a very long time, since we saw ourselves weighing what we’d like to weigh. And this is a big problem you simply must address if you are to get permanent results with your weight.

Everything begins in the mind, everything. Our minds are the control centres of our bodies. And whatever is planted in the mind will show up in the body sooner or later.

So if you need to step onto the scales one day, and magically see the needle hovering over your desired number before you’ll really believe that you can actually weigh that little, you are doomed.

But if, in your mind’s eye, you can begin to see yourself at your ideal weight, and revisit this “vision” often, you are setting yourself up for success in the weight arena!

This is why I would never, ever coach anyone to put up a “fat” picture of themselves on the fridge, which many people want to do, thinking that this will motivate them to keep the door (and their mouths) shut. All that seeing a fat picture of yourself is going to do is reinforce your mind’s eye view of yourself as heavy, and then this is going to play out in your body. You will remain heavy, or sometimes get even heavier.

A really effective method is put a picture of yourself at your ideal weight on the fridge. (If you don’t have one, cut and paste using someone else’s body and your face) Then look at this picture as often as you can. What will eventually happen is that your “mind’s eye view” of yourself will be replaced with this slimmer image of you, and your mind then work to create that on a physical level.

What you are doing is getting your mind to believe what it sees…a slim version of you!

In other words, your mind will begin to believe that you can be at that weight, and will work to get/keep you their.

I go into this topic in much more detail in my book Why Are You Weighting? for those of you that want to learn more about how this mind’s eye thing works. But you don’t need to know the theory behind it all to experience the results of changing your mind’s eye view of yourself in order to change  your body. Just try this! It costs nothing and is easy to implement, so go for it!

Just one word of caution with this….it may bring up some negative self-talk for you, like “Who are you kidding, you don’t look like this (anymore)”. If/when this negative chatter starts, just notice it, and then replace it with a more positive, empowering thought, perhaps something along the lines of “I am living life at my ideal weight and this is a great picture of me!”  It doesn’t matter whether you are 20 or 200 lbs above where you’d like to be, train your brain to see you at your ideal weight, and your body has no choice but to follow, to become your ideal weight. Work on this everyday! And really, I have to tell you, it is a lot more fun imagining yourself at your ideal weight than it is imagining your life at your heavier weight. And the most fun ofall  is moving into your life in reality at your ideal weight, but it all has to start in your mind, in your vision of yourself. Believe that you are ideal weighted, not that you are fat, and the results in your life will begin to change! They did for me, and they will for you!

Have a great week!

Stacey Grieve  ps  August will be the LAST month to receive the 20% pre-sales discount on Why Are You Weighting?, so if you want a copy, don’t delay….go to www.WhyAreYouWeightingBook.com and order yours today. (shipping expected to start mid-Sept) Also look for an announcement soon of an Audio version of the book that you can listen to while you drive, exercise etc.

Self-talk. It’s really just talking to ourselves. Talking to yourself used to be something we thought only the mentally ill did, however now we know that we all talk to ourselves all the time! So what exactly are you saying to you and about you?

First, let’s look at the language around weight loss. In fact, let’s start with the word “loss” itself. What happens when you lose something? Your brain immediately starts looking to find the item again. Whether it is your keys, your money, or your grocery list, the minute you realize you have lost something, your brain is programmed to find it again. So, from this point forward, we are not going to use the words “lose”, “loss” or “lost” with regard to weight. Because if you “lose” weight, your brain is going to want to “find” weight again. I know how silly this seems, and for now, you are just going to have to trust me on this one! So find new ways to talk about what you are doing. You can be reducing your weight, or releasing your weight, or shedding your weight, or finding your ideal weight!

We are communicating with ourselves every minute of every day. Some of this communication we have no awareness of, like the messages that pass back and forth between the brain and the cells. Things like breathing, digestion, blood flow etc are all examples of this type of communication.

And then there is communication we are aware of. Examples of this would include “Remember to pick up milk on the way home.” or “I know I can get this job finished by 5pm if I skip lunch.” or “Oh, isn’t he handsome!” We know we are having these thoughts or ideas, and generally we act on them if we choose. It is almost like having a conversation in your head.

Then there is a third type of communication we all use, and for the most part, it has become so common-place that we aren’t really aware of it at all, unless we make a point to be. And by far, this can be the most powerful form of communicating with ourselves. And like all types of power, it can be put to good use or bad.(more on that later.) Here I am talking about the constant, ongoing chatter that is present in the backs of all our minds.

Let’s refer to this chatter as our “self-talk”.We all have this going on, all our waking hours. There is a constant stream of ideas and comments going on in all our minds all the time. Self-talk is also how we express alot of opinions about ourselves, such as “I’m a great bowler” or “I always get in the wrong line” or “I don’t think so-and-so likes me”. Self-talk can also appear as “You can do this!” when faced with a challenge, or it can be the exact opposite, like “You’ll never do this right, you never do anything right”. You see, once we start to pay attention to our self-talk, often we’ll find we don’t speak to ourselves very kindly. And here’s how to change that. Whenever you catch yourself saying something less-than-kind to yourself, notice it, and replace it with a happier thought or idea.

Really be vigilant about your self-talk. Start by just noticing what thoughts are going through your head. Are you being nice, supportive and forgiving to yourself, or are you thinking things that are berating, belittling or even abusive? You will be amazed to discover how often a thought you think about yourself is not really very nice.

We all have thoughts along the lines of “You can’t do this” or “Who do you think you are?” which are bad enough, but then sometimes we can even hear a voice in our head that can be really abusive. “You’re such a loser” or “You’ll never amount to much” are things most of us would probably never say to another human being, however we say them to ourselves all the time!

What is important here is that when you do think a negative thought about yourself, be sure to then not berate yourself further by mentally chastizing yourself for having had a negative thought in the first place! This is really important! After you realize you’ve been in a negative self-talk place, catch yourself before the next thought is something like  “Oh, I’ll never get this right, I am such a loser.” Replace that with “I will get the hang of this, it just takes practice.”

For now, just notice your thoughts. And to get help with this, and really get you going down the right path, you’ll want to have  the book Why Are You Weighting? in your library. In  Chapters 4, 5, and 6 we look at self-talk, and how to adjust it to be more helpful in assisting you in achieving and maintaining your ideal body weight. We even talk about how to use self-talk to really propel you to permanent success. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it is going to take some time to change a life-time of having certain thoughts.

I hope you are reading this article because you are looking to achieve something in your life. And for this, you are to be congratulated! This is a big step, and I am happy  to help you along the way. If you truly want to change your weight permanently, then taking a look at how you talk to yourself is a necessary step in the right direction!

To your success!

Stacey ps Please forward this to anyone you know who needs this information!

www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com

Just imagine how different your life would be if  you never had to diet again! Why Are You Weighting? and www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com were both developed to show you how you can easily achieve and maintain your ideal body weight, without dieting and deprivation! After all, it’s not the food that’s making you fat! Focusing on the food will not get you long-term results. Focusing on your thinking will. It worked for me and it will work for you! You just need to learn how, that’s all! So go to www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com right now and order your advanced copy of Why Are You Weighting? with a 20% discount. Your days of dieting are over forever!

Is it possible to be addicted to dieting? I always thought if we had an addiction, it was to the food, not to the dieting.  And then I went to get my haircut last week, and had an eye-opening conversation with my stylist Steve.

I’ve known Steve for about 7 years now, and during that time, I’ve seen his weight go up and down many times. And on this recent visit, I noticed that he had shed a few pounds since I’d last seen him. I complimented him on this, and he beamingly replied “Yup, 21 pounds lost, 35 to go!”

This got us into a discussion about what he was doing to shed the weight “this time”. Turns out he is going to a very strict weight-loss centre, that has put him on a 800 calorie a day diet, basically consisting of (and I am not kidding here) boiled chicken and leafy greens. No carbs, no alcohol, no fruit, no anything except boiled chicken and leafy greens. (All for the “low” cost of $160 per week!)

I asked him a few questions about sustainability, did he think he could eat like that forever, and here’s where I had the big revelation! Steve answered quite emphatically that yes, he was going to continue this routine long-term, even after the weight had been shed. (This from a guy who loves food, socializing, the occasional beer or drink etc) He mentioned loving the feeling of “being in control” again, which he hadn’t felt in a long time.

This brought back memories of my own diets over the years, and that often the greatest thing to come out of a diet wasn’t even the pounds shed, but that wonderful feeling of being in control. But this is a facade, because it is not the dieter who is in control, but rather the diet itself.

The dieter doesn’t control what foods to eat, the diet does. The dieter doesn’t control the portions, the diet does. The dieter doesn’t control the frequency of weigh-ins, the diet program does. The dieter actually gives up control when on a diet, and this is what I think dieters get addicted to!

They get addicted to the feeling of not having to be in control!

This can feel sooooo good after having been out of control for so long. And as we all know, being out of control feels pretty bad most of the time.

I liken this to what a drug addict goes through when they enter rehab. Although drug withdrawal causes many uncomfortable physical symptoms, many addicts report a sense of emotional relief at being in rehab.  They feel they are finally in control over their addiction, just as an active dieter feels in control over their food choices. But this is a false illusion! You know this is true by how many drug addicts end up back in rehab and how many dieters end up back on a diet again, after they’ve been released back into the real world. If the person were truly the one in control, there’d be no need for further diets or rehab.

In order to truly get a handle on your weight, YOU must take control permanently. This means no more relying on dieting for control. Because once you go off the diet, it can become a slippery slope into losing control yet again.

Controling (also called mastering) yourself is the greatest gift you can give to you. This is true empowerment! This is true relief! And because this new found control is internal, it is also eternal, because you don’t have to rely on anything or anyone to keep you on your path.

And that’s what Why Are You Weighting? is here to help you do. To learn to master yourself so that YOU are in control, you are the master of your own ship, the architect of your own life! The life you were meant to live, at your ideal weight, without feeling deprived or disempowered. Why Are You Weighting? was written just for you.

Because the feeling of being truly in control yourself, is a feeling unmatched by any feeling a diet can ever give you!

Make it a great week!

Stacey

PS: To learn more about the book, read testimonials, and get a feel for what Why Are You Weighting? is all about, please visit www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com and click on the icon for Buy Book Now. This will take you to another site full of info about the book itself. Pre-sales are still happening, so to reserve your autographed copy at a 20% discount from the full price, please visit www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com and click on the icon for Buy Book Now. (Pre-sales will be ending within the next few weeks, so don’t delay…why pay full price later if you can get a savings now?)

I’ve known for a long time that dieting doesn’t work for me. And after reviewing the results of last week’s survey, I have to say I am surprised  to see that it doesn’t seem to be working for anyone!

If you consider that the goal of dieting isn’t just to get the weight off, but also to keep it off, diets are failing everyone. Yet the “diet industry” is a $55 Billion industry in just the States alone! So why is this happening?

And I have to say, I was fascinated by the survey results….Read on if you’d like to see how you compare to our group.

In the States alone, the diet industry does over $55 Billion dollars a year in sales, and employs large numbers of people. It is a serious force to be reckoned with.

The #1 thing the diet industry sells is “hope”….hope that this time it will be different. Hope that this time I’ll get the weight off. Hope that this time I’ll keep the weight off. Hope that this time will be my last time.

Because afterall, if you lose hope, you will never go forward. What’s the point if there’s no hope in succeeding? No one would ever even start a diet if they didn’t have the slightest hope of achieving their goals.

So the diet industry plays right into this, reeling us back for more and more. And this is clearly demonstrated by the results of our survey! The first question was: How many times in your life have you used dieting as a way to reduce your weight? 100% of our respondents had used dieting. In fact, 86% had been on 5 or more diets in their life!

Later in the survey we asked how long people had been able to keep the weight off, and you know what, very few were able to keep it off longer than 2 years! A small group kept it off for 4 years however not one single respondent said they kept if off for more than 4 years.

There is a generally accepted statistic that says 95% of dieters regain all (and often more) of the weight within 5 years. Seems our group is pretty typical that way!

And here’s where things got very interesting! When the survey asked if “you currently need to reduce your weight” ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the replies were “yes”! (interesting because in Question #1, 100% of the respondents said they had used dieting as a means of controlling their weight, yet here they all were, currently needing to reduce…seems dieting does not effectively control weight!) And just as I suspected, 57% of the people said they were now heavier than they were when they started their diet!

So not only does dieting not help you reduce your weight, for more than half the people, it actually causes you to weigh more! I believe this phenomenon is related to the deprivation we all feel “when on a diet”. No one likes to be deprived, especially when it comes to favourite foods. That’s why so many people “cheat” on their diets, and again, our group is no different. A third of those surveyed admitted to cheating on their diets within the first week, two thirds lasted a couple of weeks, and no one was able to last much more than a month!

And it didn’t even seem to matter how much money had been spent on the dieting effort. A third of the group spent less than $20 per month, a third spent about $50 per month, and a third spent over $300 per month! Yet remember from a previous question that they all currently need to reduce their weight again, some having more weight on now than when they started their diet plan.

DIETS DON’T WORK!!!!!!

And here’s the bottom line on why…..Dieting is only dealing with the symptoms of excess weight, not the cause. And since you haven’t addressed the cause of why you are carrying extra weight, that weight is sure to come right back.

Here’s a simple analogy to better explain. Say your roof is leaking, and water is coming into your living room, soaking your wall-to-wall broadloom. So you put out pots and pans to catch the rain, which will allow the rugs to stay dry. This is a temporary solution. In order to solve the problem permanently, you must fix the roof! Seems obvious in this example doesn’t it?

Symptom=wet carpeting / Cause=leaky roof / Temporary Solution=put out pots and pans / Permanent Solution=fix the roof

So using the scenario above, lets look at weight: Symptom=excess weight / Cause=?? / Temporary Solution=diet / Permanent Solution=deal with the cause, which is currently unknown.

You may think that the cause is overeating, so you diet to reduce your food intake. But the next question is “why are you overeating?” and if you don’t figure that one out, you will never get permanent results.  Overeating is just another symptom of whatever is the cause for you.

And this is exactly why Why Are You Weighting? is so different from every other weight reduction program out there! Because we help you get to the root cause of your weight, which will give you the permanent results you want and deserve! You’ve tried dieting, and it hasn’t worked. Now work with something that will…Why Are You Weighting?

Go to www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com right now to order your advanced, autographed copy, at a 20% discount off the full price. You, and your waist-band, will be glad you did!

Make it a great week!

Stacey