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Thoughts on Forgiveness:

"If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?" Dolores Heurta

Forgiving yourself for all your past "weight transgressions" is an integral part of moving forward and achieving success with your weight.

Note that forgiving yourself is NOT the same as giving up, or going on a binge.

So no matter how many times you've failed at getting the weight off, or eaten the wrong thing, or skipped your workout, forgive yourself immediately. And then get back on track, which will be much easier without the weight of guilt on your shoulders.

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Fat TV


A reporter recently asked my opinion on the current trend of TV shows featuring plus-sized people, such as “The Biggest Loser” and “More to Love”. One of the questions posed to me was “do these shows reinforce the societal stereotypes about overweight people?”

I think the answer here depends on the show. In the case of the “Biggest
Loser” the contestants could definately not be called “lazy fat people”, which is a common stereotype. Those contestants work very hard (some might argue too hard) to achieve their goals. The contestants are anything but lazy, and I can’t even imagine living life like they do, it’s totally unrealistic to expect anyone to work out 6 hours per day!

I think the new show “More to Love” presents the overweight women as
needy, having little self-esteem, and that definately plays into a
stereotype. In the dating world there is a group of men who believe that a
a “fat girl will always try harder to please, both in bed and out” because
of their lack of self-esteem. This show also reinforces the idea that it’s
ok for a man to be overweight and desirable….just look at all those
women vying for a fat guy. And the flip side of the coin is the fat girls
have to compete and prove their worth, while he gets to basically just
stand there. I think it would be far more stereotype-busting if the roles
were reversed here…a fat woman with a dozen men (of varying sizes) all
vying for her. That would get people talking!

There are pros and cons to all this weight-related tv.
Pros:
-Overweight people feeling less isolated as they see peers on tv, and realize they’re
not alone in their struggles.
-Overweight people being educated on nutrition, exercise etc.
-Overweight people watching others achieving their goals, whether
weight-related or socially-related.
-Access to overweight role models.
-Stereotype busting in some cases.

Cons:
-A sense that being overweight is ok, due to the societal de-sensitization of obesity, and growing acceptance of it.
-Sensationalism and profit on the backs of the overweight.
-Stereotype validation in some cases.

I also wonder how many non-fat people are watching these shows. I have reviewed many blogs around these various fat shows, and from what I can tell, the great majority of viewers are overweight people….meaning that
these shows are “preaching to the choir” so to speak. I am not sure that
they are educating the non-fat demographic at all. In fact, I wonder if
the title “The Biggest Loser” doesn’t just reinforce the notion that fat
people are losers amongst the non-fat.

I have a unique perspective on fat vs slim, as I have been both morbidly
obese and for the last 6+ years, entirely average-build. And when I was fat, I was miserable and felt very isolated. I thought I was alone in my struggles. And while it might have been comforting for me to know that there were others out there who were in the same boat, I wonder if finding that community might have thwarted my efforts to get and stay slim.

Finding a way to get and keep the weight off was a 25 year challenge for me, and I am beyond elated about life as an average sized person. Now that I am on the other side of the fence, I am grateful for the unease that being fat caused, which constantly propelled me to find a solution. Had I found a place where I was just one of the group of overweight people, I might have chosen the easier route, and just stayed fat. I am glad that didn’t happen.

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