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Self-talk. What are YOU saying about YOU?
Self-talk. It’s really just talking to ourselves. Talking to yourself used to be something we thought only the mentally ill did, however now we know that we all talk to ourselves all the time! So what exactly are you saying to you and about you?
First, let’s look at the language around weight loss. In fact, let’s start with the word “loss” itself. What happens when you lose something? Your brain immediately starts looking to find the item again. Whether it is your keys, your money, or your grocery list, the minute you realize you have lost something, your brain is programmed to find it again. So, from this point forward, we are not going to use the words “lose”, “loss” or “lost” with regard to weight. Because if you “lose” weight, your brain is going to want to “find” weight again. I know how silly this seems, and for now, you are just going to have to trust me on this one! So find new ways to talk about what you are doing. You can be reducing your weight, or releasing your weight, or shedding your weight, or finding your ideal weight!
We are communicating with ourselves every minute of every day. Some of this communication we have no awareness of, like the messages that pass back and forth between the brain and the cells. Things like breathing, digestion, blood flow etc are all examples of this type of communication.
And then there is communication we are aware of. Examples of this would include “Remember to pick up milk on the way home.” or “I know I can get this job finished by 5pm if I skip lunch.” or “Oh, isn’t he handsome!” We know we are having these thoughts or ideas, and generally we act on them if we choose. It is almost like having a conversation in your head.
Then there is a third type of communication we all use, and for the most part, it has become so common-place that we aren’t really aware of it at all, unless we make a point to be. And by far, this can be the most powerful form of communicating with ourselves. And like all types of power, it can be put to good use or bad.(more on that later.) Here I am talking about the constant, ongoing chatter that is present in the backs of all our minds.
Let’s refer to this chatter as our “self-talk”.We all have this going on, all our waking hours. There is a constant stream of ideas and comments going on in all our minds all the time. Self-talk is also how we express alot of opinions about ourselves, such as “I’m a great bowler” or “I always get in the wrong line” or “I don’t think so-and-so likes me”. Self-talk can also appear as “You can do this!” when faced with a challenge, or it can be the exact opposite, like “You’ll never do this right, you never do anything right”. You see, once we start to pay attention to our self-talk, often we’ll find we don’t speak to ourselves very kindly. And here’s how to change that. Whenever you catch yourself saying something less-than-kind to yourself, notice it, and replace it with a happier thought or idea.
Really be vigilant about your self-talk. Start by just noticing what thoughts are going through your head. Are you being nice, supportive and forgiving to yourself, or are you thinking things that are berating, belittling or even abusive? You will be amazed to discover how often a thought you think about yourself is not really very nice.
We all have thoughts along the lines of “You can’t do this” or “Who do you think you are?” which are bad enough, but then sometimes we can even hear a voice in our head that can be really abusive. “You’re such a loser” or “You’ll never amount to much” are things most of us would probably never say to another human being, however we say them to ourselves all the time!
What is important here is that when you do think a negative thought about yourself, be sure to then not berate yourself further by mentally chastizing yourself for having had a negative thought in the first place! This is really important! After you realize you’ve been in a negative self-talk place, catch yourself before the next thought is something like “Oh, I’ll never get this right, I am such a loser.” Replace that with “I will get the hang of this, it just takes practice.”
For now, just notice your thoughts. And to get help with this, and really get you going down the right path, you’ll want to have the book Why Are You Weighting? in your library. In Chapters 4, 5, and 6 we look at self-talk, and how to adjust it to be more helpful in assisting you in achieving and maintaining your ideal body weight. We even talk about how to use self-talk to really propel you to permanent success. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it is going to take some time to change a life-time of having certain thoughts.
I hope you are reading this article because you are looking to achieve something in your life. And for this, you are to be congratulated! This is a big step, and I am happy to help you along the way. If you truly want to change your weight permanently, then taking a look at how you talk to yourself is a necessary step in the right direction!
To your success!
Stacey ps Please forward this to anyone you know who needs this information!
Just imagine how different your life would be if you never had to diet again! Why Are You Weighting? and www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com were both developed to show you how you can easily achieve and maintain your ideal body weight, without dieting and deprivation! After all, it’s not the food that’s making you fat! Focusing on the food will not get you long-term results. Focusing on your thinking will. It worked for me and it will work for you! You just need to learn how, that’s all! So go to www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com right now and order your advanced copy of Why Are You Weighting? with a 20% discount. Your days of dieting are over forever!
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I appreciated your post about self-talk. We just posted our “Watch What You Think” video on Youtube that conveys a similar message in an eye catching way, thanks to our animated ‘energy orbs.’ You can find the video at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-aiJk5J76Y
People should read this.