I bet there are all kinds of things you love! People, food, places, ideas,
music, sleeping, pets, books, movies, nature, architecture, poetry,
sports….the list is endless. And while none of us loves all things, we
all have things we do love.

Now here’s a question for you. Do you love yourself?

What was your first thought when you read the last sentence about loving
yourself?

Was it something about loving yourself being wrong? Wrong because to love
yourself would be conceited? Wrong because what would others think? Wrong
because you don’t think of yourself as a loveable person? Wrong because no
one else loves you? Wrong because people shouldn’t just walk around loving
themselves? Wrong because…….?

No matter what reason there is that you may believe that loving yourself
is wrong, that reason is wrong!

You are a magnificent being! You are worthy of being loved, no matter what
anyone else may have ever told you. And the first step to being loved is
to really love and accept yourself. Fully embracing yourself, all of
yourself.

Self-love is really the basis for self-esteem. And our level of
self-esteem determines what we will and won’t accept from life. Our level
of self-esteem determines what we think we are worth, from all
perspectives. What we think we can earn, the type of people we associate
with, the quality of our clothes, our cars, our houses, and what we weigh,
are all tied into our self-esteem.

It just makes sense that if you hold yourself in high-esteem, that you
will treat yourself with respect and care. Conversely, if your self-esteem
is low, your self-respect will be low too. And low self-respect doesn’t
translate into treating yourself well. And treating yourself well does not
include habits that lead to an unhealthy body. And an overweight body is
an unhealthy body.

Do you know that you are a marvellous creation? A truly remarkable human
being? That there is no one else on this planet that has the exact same
make up as you? You are as unique as a snowflake! And did you also know
that you have unique gifts to offer? Whether you are a great singer,
dancer, crossword-doer, baker, parent, friend, artist, writer,
sunset-watcher, gardener, decorator, cook, sports person, story-teller or
anything else, you have within you the capacity for greatness! You have
some unique talent(s) that others admire in you. Think about what this is.
If you aren’t sure what it is, or if you can’t even begin to believe this,
ask your nicest, closest friends for some insight. Your friends will be
able to tell you what they see you being good at. We are going to use this
information in just a minute.

We are going to use a technique we called Affirmations. An affirmation is
a statement you repeat over and over and over again to yourself, until you
actually start to believe it because it is programmed into your
subconscious. An affirmation is always done in the present tense, even
though sometimes this can seem like quite a stretch of the truth. So, to
make it easier for you to get going, we are going to start with your
personal area of strength that you know is true. This way we can “shore
up” your belief, and give you a good solid foundation.

A great way to start an affirmation is with the words “I am so happy and
grateful now that I ___________________________” and then fill in the
blank with your strength. So you might say “I am so happy and grateful now
that I am a great gardener, with a beautiful garden of gorgeous flowers”
or “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a great parent of a wonderful
child’ or “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a great
singer/artist/seamstress/bowler/salesperson etc etc”

Right now, I want to you to formulate your affirmation, and then memorize
it. You are going to repeat this statement to yourself many, many times
every day. You may want to put post-it notes all around to remind yourself
to do this! I personally have post-it notes on my bathroom mirror, in my
bedroom, and sometimes even in the kitchen! You can’t over do this, and
the more you do it, the faster your thinking will shift. Aim to say your
affirmation (out loud, or silently, depending on where you are at the
time) at least 100 times per day!

Again, don’t be concerned if it feels like you are really exagerating or
even lying to yourself. Just keep repeating it over and over and over each
day, and it will begin to feel like the truth, as it becomes the truth!

Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it is going to take some
time for you really cement this new of way of thinking about yourself.
You will know this technique working when you find yourself thinking
kinder, gentler thoughts about yourself. You may also notice that you
start feeling more optimistic about your life and the situations and
people in it. You will also notice that the way people respond to you
changes for the better too.

The reason everything in your life changes for the better when you
increase your self-esteem and self-respect is because your self-esteem
determines the “lens” through which you look at the world. Each of us sees
the outside world relative to our inside world. All our points of
reference are internal. By changing internally, you are also changing your
filters. So it is not really that the outside world is changed, it’s just
that you changed how you look it. You will begin to notice things you
never noticed before, and won’t notice things that used to get your
attention. It’s like looking thru a telescope…you will see only what you
focus the telescope on. By moving the telescope, your view will change.
That doesn’t mean the other view is not there, it is just not in your line
of sight. Changing the lens through which you look at the world will
change what you see and what gets your attention. This is a guarantee!

Begin today to fall in love with the most important person in your
life…YOU! It is a love affair that will last a lifetime and bring you
more joy and happiness than you can even imagine. And once you are in love
with you, watch how those around you start to fall under your spell too.
True love must start within, and then it can progress to the outside.

To your success!

Since so many people will start out every new year with resolutions about their weight, I thought I would share this light-hearted piece on the topic:

2006: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2007: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2008: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2009: I will work out 3 days a week.
2010: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Any of this sound familiar to you? Too familiar in fact? A friend of mine once commented “I bought the damn gym membership! Isn’t that enough? Do I actually have to go?”

Why is it that although we know what we have to do to shed pounds, we are so reluctant to do it? Why does it seem so hard to cut down on our intake (food) and increase our output (exercise)?

It’s because of our programming, plain and simple.

We are all programmed, in every area of our life. Being programmed is part of being human. Programming can also be thought of as our conditioning, or our habitual way of doing things. Just like a computer has programming, so do we. And in just the same way a computer that missed getting Powerpoint programming installed on it won’t ever be able to open a Powerpoint document, a person missing “slim-programming” will never be able to get and stay slim.

How do you know what your programming around weight is? Easy. If your usual physical state is slim, you have the slim-programming. And if it isn’t, you don’t.

Now unfortunately, you can’t just walk into a store and buy the latest “Slim-programming for Humans” software. Reprogramming yourself is a different matter than reprogramming your computer. But it can be done!

Your programming is really just the way you think about things. With regard to weight it’s how you think about food, exercise, your body, yourself, and even how you think about other people who are slim. All these thought-factors come into play when dealing with your weight, because they will determine what actions you take everyday, that ultimately give you your results, good or bad.

There’s an equation I use about life:
Thoughts create feelings. Feelings create Actions. Actions create Results.

Your habitual thoughts are your programming. And if you habitually think things like “Exercise is too hard, I hate it” your thoughts could then lead to you feel hopeless about your weight. And if you feel hopeless, then why would you even bother to try? Your actions will continue to be avoidance of exercise. Or if you regularly think “Healthy foods just don’t taste as good as fast-food” this could lead you to feel that you can only be satisfied with junk-food, and your actions will reflect your thoughts. You’ll find yourself driving to the nearest burger joint in no time flat.

And while skipping a workout or eating junk food once in a while will never make you fat, doing these things everyday will definately show on your body.

Anyone who has ever been successful with permanent weight loss will tell you that they significantly changed the way they thought. I used to hate exercise, but I wanted to shed pounds, so I kept looking for some form of physical movement I could learn to love. Back in school, I was the “fat kid” who was always the last one back after jogging in gym class. I felt humilated and was teased by the other kids. This was definately when my “I hate exercise” programming was installed.

But I knew that incorporating exercise into my life was something I HAD to do if I was ever going to get and keep the weight off. I knew jogging was NEVER going to be my exercise of choice, but I had to find something I could do, and learn to love. (or atleast like) Over the years my exercise choices have changed from aerobic classes (you should’ve seen my legwarmers!) to my current choice, Bikram (Hot) Yoga. My thoughts have changed from a blanket “I hate exercise” to “I love how doing Bikram makes me appreciate my body more, and helps me keep my weight healthy.” And because I now think this way, I have no trouble getting to my local yoga studio, it just happens.

So now that you know this, what thoughts have you been having that have been contributing to your weight woes? And what could you change these thoughts to to help you be more successful? Please leave your answer in the comments section.

Three little words, that when put into action, can give you everything you ever wanted, including your ideal weight.

You’re probably wondering how can three words, totalling only 8 letters, possibly be so powerful? Let me explain!

If you’ve read my book or heard me speak, you know that I am all about how the mind plays into our weight. The mind directs everything, EVERYTHING the body does. There’s not a single thing that happens in your body that hasn’t first passed through your mind. Some of these things are conscious (”I’m going to get up out of this chair now”) and some are subconscious (keeping the heart beating and the lungs inflating) but either way, the brain is involved.

So what does all that have to do with “Be. Do. Have.”?

It is widely known that in order to HAVE something, you first must BE (thinking like) the type of person you want to be in order to get yourself to DO what is required to HAVE that something.

So if what you want to HAVE is an ideal-weighted body, first and foremost you have to BE thinking the way an ideal-weighted person would be thinking, so that you will DO what is required to get to & stay at your ideal weight.

Never in a million years are you going to get to/stay at your ideal weight if you continue to think like an overweight person (”It’s ok for me to have a second helping at every meal”) because you will keep doing the things overweight people do, which are very different things than what healthy-weighted people do.

You must start thinking like a healthy-weighted person in order to do what is required, which will eventually get you there.

This is true not only for success with weight, but also for success in any area! Just think about it, do you think you’ll ever get rich by thinking like, and doing, what poor people do? Of course not. Or that your career will soar to new heights if you think like, and do the things that underachievers think and do? Again, of course not.

So why do we think our weight is any different? People unsuccessful at shedding pounds may want to be slim, but at the same time, they often spend so much time thinking about how hard controlling their appetite is, or how uncomfortable exercise is, and they create a mental block to their success. You cannot be successful if your thoughts are “unsuccessful”.

So beginning today start applying the “Be. Do. Have.” philosophy. BE thinking like a healthy-weighted person first, which will make it so much easier for you to DO the things you need to do in order to HAVE your body reach and stay at it’s ideal weight.

You can do it! It’s just three simple words. Be. Do. Have.

Deb started a fantastic new business this year, called BCelebrated.com. This website is dedicated to celebrating life and living a full, aware existence, which is a very different way of living than just muddling through each day on autopilot.

Deb is running a very interesting experiment for 2010, in which she is challenging anyone who wants to be part of it, to live 2010 as if it were their last. I am committing to be part of her experiment, and am actually quite excited about all that will come out of this.

How would you spend each day if you knew your days were limited? How would your relationships change? What things would you want to accomplish before the year was over? I gotta tell you, questions like these really get you thinking!

To learn more about Deb’s experiment, and to see both my answers (immediate and then after I had some time to think about it) to her ‘last day’ question, go to www.BCelebrated.com/blog

As you know, Why Are You Weighting is about living a more aware life around food, your body and your mind. Why not expand that awareness into all areas of your life? Accepting the challenge to become part of this experiment will help you figure out what’s important to you in life, and will also help you get rid of self-destructive habits like overeating.  I commend Deb for putting this together, and challenge all the WAYW community to get on board.

So go to www.BCelebrated.com/blog and join us for what is going to turn out to be a very interesting 2010!

Stacey

 
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1. Go through the candy and pick out all the pieces that are not your favourites. Get rid of them immediately. That means throw them out, or get in the car and drop them off at collection places for food banks.

2. Now that you’ve narrowed down the stash to just your faves, put what you are keeping in the freezer. Better yet, put them in your neighbour’s freezer, they’ll be much harder to get at there!

3. Attach a picture of yourself at a weight you like to the freezer door. Look at this picture everytime you go for a candy. Remind yourself that the candy is not going to help you look like you look in the picture.

4. Everything in life has a cost, so wen you do decide to go ahead and have a candy, make yourself pay a fee. Make that fee either an extra workout, or add 30 minutes to your regular workout.

5. Go into your stash no more than once per day, or even less, like only 2-3 times per week. When you do choose to have any of your candy, really enjoy it. If you’re going to eat it, allow yourself to really enjoy it. Savour it, tasting every bite. This will allow you to get more out of the candy you’re eating, rather than eating more candy. You’ll find that you are way more satisfied with a lot less candy when you eat mindfully.

6. Watch how you speak to yourself as you are reaching for the candy. Are you thinking “I shouldn’t be doing this” or “I should just have an apple instead”? If so, remove the word “should” and instead use “I am choosing to….”. You always have a choice, remember that. So thinking “I am choosing to have the candy” is a better representation of what’s really going, and puts the power back into your hands.

7. If/When you do choose to have the candy, don’t feel guilty about having it. Even if you go completely overboard and eat way too much, you can’t go back and change what you did. And feeling guilty about it will cause an increase in cortisol in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone, which contributes to the accumulation of abdominal fat and makes it very difficult to get rid of it.

Use these tips, and just watch as you find yourself eating less candy this year!

After all, you’re already sweet enough!

And regardless of whether you celebrate this weekend, or next month in the US, if you’re like me, you’re day-dreaming about the abundance of yummy, seasonal foods that are about to be served on this holiday and can’t wait to dig in! But are you also feeling a wee bit nervous about how much food will be available, and your ability to control yourself around it all? Well read on for some great food-for-thought before you get into the real food!

This holiday is about celebrating abundance, and that got me thinking that if abundance is the theme, why do we eat everything in sight, as if there’s no more coming?

There’s a common thread amongst many overweight people in a sort-of ‘anti-abundance’ mentality. When something tasty is placed before them, often everything will be eaten at once, as if there is never, ever going to be any more of that yummy food, EVER.

I know there are many foods that seem to only be available this time of year, pumpkin pie being one example. I love pumpkin pie! Check out a great lo-cal and yummy version under ‘Tip of the Week’ on the homepage at www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com But if you can only get these seasonal foods for a week or so, wouldn’t it make sense then to stretch out the time you’ll be able to enjoy them, by saving some to have again over the next few days, instead of consuming it all in one sitting, and then spending the next few days wishing there were more and wishing you hadn’t pigged out?

So this year, why not try something different? Really enjoy your holiday food in moderate portions, and then put the rest away to enjoy again later over the next couple of days. Make it Thanksgiving week, where for dinner each day you enjoy just one of the many wonderful foods. Try something different each night. A small slice of pie for dessert on one night, the extra stuffing as a side dish on another night. Instead of eating everything in one meal, eat moderately the first time, and save the left-overs to spruce up dinner (or lunch) over the next couple of days.

This way, you’ll get to experience the wonderful tastes in your mouth more than once, and you’ll spread out your caloric intake over a much longer period, which your stomach, digestive system and hips will really appreciate!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have much to be thankful for myself, including all the readers of my blog, and all the wonderful members at Why Are You Weighting!

What are you thankful for this year? Leave a comment and let me know.

Turns out this person was really hoping I answered her question with something like “I took a magic pill and the weight just fell off”, which of course is not the answer I gave her!

We continued the conversation, and I asked her how long she had been hoping to find this magic pill. She said it had been years, years that she had spent being miserable in her overweight body. I asked what she had tried to do to lose weight, and she rhymed off a long list of diets she’d started but not finished, gym classes she’d signed up for but not attended, and various widgets and gidgets she had bought from the internet, none of which worked. (any of this sound familiar to you?)

She was clearly looking for the quick fix, and had wasted years (and lots of money) in her search for the “Holy Grail” of weight loss.

No wonder she was so disappointed when I told her that I had achieved my weight goals basically by doing three things:

1. Taking responsibility for myself and my actions, including my ways of thinking and looking at the world.
2. Asking for help from qualified people and organizations.
3. Being patient with my progress and kind with myself, which included learning to love myself regardless of what the scale said.

There is no magic pill and there aren’t any shortcuts on the road to your ideal weight. Stop wasting your time, energy and money trying to find these, they simply aren’t there. And instead, start working on the three items above, and watch what starts to happen with your weight. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. And I’m here to help with all three items, all you have to do is ask!

I think the answer here depends on the show. In the case of the “Biggest
Loser” the contestants could definately not be called “lazy fat people”, which is a common stereotype. Those contestants work very hard (some might argue too hard) to achieve their goals. The contestants are anything but lazy, and I can’t even imagine living life like they do, it’s totally unrealistic to expect anyone to work out 6 hours per day!

I think the new show “More to Love” presents the overweight women as
needy, having little self-esteem, and that definately plays into a
stereotype. In the dating world there is a group of men who believe that a
a “fat girl will always try harder to please, both in bed and out” because
of their lack of self-esteem. This show also reinforces the idea that it’s
ok for a man to be overweight and desirable….just look at all those
women vying for a fat guy. And the flip side of the coin is the fat girls
have to compete and prove their worth, while he gets to basically just
stand there. I think it would be far more stereotype-busting if the roles
were reversed here…a fat woman with a dozen men (of varying sizes) all
vying for her. That would get people talking!

There are pros and cons to all this weight-related tv.
Pros:
-Overweight people feeling less isolated as they see peers on tv, and realize they’re
not alone in their struggles.
-Overweight people being educated on nutrition, exercise etc.
-Overweight people watching others achieving their goals, whether
weight-related or socially-related.
-Access to overweight role models.
-Stereotype busting in some cases.

Cons:
-A sense that being overweight is ok, due to the societal de-sensitization of obesity, and growing acceptance of it.
-Sensationalism and profit on the backs of the overweight.
-Stereotype validation in some cases.

I also wonder how many non-fat people are watching these shows. I have reviewed many blogs around these various fat shows, and from what I can tell, the great majority of viewers are overweight people….meaning that
these shows are “preaching to the choir” so to speak. I am not sure that
they are educating the non-fat demographic at all. In fact, I wonder if
the title “The Biggest Loser” doesn’t just reinforce the notion that fat
people are losers amongst the non-fat.

I have a unique perspective on fat vs slim, as I have been both morbidly
obese and for the last 6+ years, entirely average-build. And when I was fat, I was miserable and felt very isolated. I thought I was alone in my struggles. And while it might have been comforting for me to know that there were others out there who were in the same boat, I wonder if finding that community might have thwarted my efforts to get and stay slim.

Finding a way to get and keep the weight off was a 25 year challenge for me, and I am beyond elated about life as an average sized person. Now that I am on the other side of the fence, I am grateful for the unease that being fat caused, which constantly propelled me to find a solution. Had I found a place where I was just one of the group of overweight people, I might have chosen the easier route, and just stayed fat. I am glad that didn’t happen.

1. Animal level. This level is about reacting rather than thinking. It’s the level of the fight or flight responses. As it relates to weight, at this level, anything that throws you off becomes a good excuse to overeat. “I had a bad day, so I’m going to eat _________ (fill in your food of choice) to make myself feel better.”

2. Mass level. This is where we are programmed to conform. The thinking is “they can’t all be wrong, so I’ll do it too.” Control is through fear; “what will they think of me?” As it relates to weight, at this level, it seems that “everyone else is eating fattening foods, so why not me too? They’ll think I’m weird if I don’t go to the burger joint and pig out with them.”

3. Aspiration level. This is where we want to go beyond where we currently are, however it’s desire without action. You’ll verbalize your intentions, “I’ve been meaning to lose weight”, however nothing changes. This is a very frustrating level to be at, and this frustration can cause a drop back to the Mass level.

4. Individual level. This is the level where we begin to take action.
We begin to express our own individuality, and move away from the crowd. This is where we begin to grow as a person, and that can be scary. This is also the level where most people fail. As it relates to weight, at this level, you may begin turning down invites to the burger joint, remembering that you want to stay on track with your healthy eating. However you may also give in and revert back to old habits.

5. Discipline level. This is where you give yourself a command and you follow it. As it relates to weight, at this level, if you say to yourself “I am not going to have second helpings anymore” you won’t have any more second helpings. You stick with what you promised yourself to do. You will sometimes fail, but more often than not you stick with your resolve.

6. Experience level. You achieve this level when you have practiced the Discipline level and you begin to experience change in results. The feedback from your experiences causes personal growth. You will occasionally meet with failure at this level, but you have the discipline to keep going. As it relates to weight, at this level, it means that you are experiencing physically and emotionally what it feels like to eat normally, and you are happy you are sticking with your plans.

7. Mastery level. At this level, you are responding to situations rather than reacting to them. You think and plan, and make choices. Your emotions are even and no longer controlling you around food. As it relates to weight, at this level, even if you have the worst day ever, you will stop and think about how you are going to respond. You will make conscious choices about how to deal with the stress, choosing healthier options than overeating.

So where are you in the Levels of Awareness as they relate to your weight? (they also relate relationships, finances, personal growth etc.) If you have been trying to lose weight, but with no success, you are stuck somewhere between levels 1 & 3, maybe even 4. However to truly master your weight, you must continue to work your way up the levels. And remember, the journey to mastery is not a straight line! There will be bumps in the road, and occasionally even a giant pot-hole, but you must keep going. So go easy on yourself when you do have a set-back, and just get back on track as quickly as you can.