Feeling that you deserve to have a “forbidden food” after a bad day is an example of how your thinking can be a roadblock to your success. Before I talk more about this, let’s just backtrack a bit first.

How did we ever get to the place where when something bad happens to us, we actually do further damage by taking an action that moves us further away from our goals, ultimately leaving us feeling even worse? And somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that doing this is treating ourselves well? It’s all mixed up.

I completely agree that after a bad day you deserve something, but I think that something should be something that helps to undo the effects of the day. A bad day might mean you deserve an apology, a massage, or even a good deal on auto-repair (for a really bad day, LOL). Unless you let it, a bad day does not give you permission to throw all that you’ve worked towards (with your weight) out the window. And that is exactly what’s happening when you decide you deserve to eat the cookies/french fries/entire pizza etc.

“Deserve” can denote either reward or punishment. “The athlete deserved the medal” versus “The murderer deserved the life sentence”. So ask yourself this: Why, when the universe has delivered a bad day to you, do you feel the need to punish yourself for it? And punish yourself is exactly what you are doing when you decide to go off track. And then later when you come to your senses, the punishment continues when you start to berate yourself for falling off the wagon. Instead, why not reward yourself for getting through such a bad day with something that truly does take the sting out and leaves you feeling good hours later.

One thing you truly do deserve everyday, is to live life at your ideal weight in the healthiest body possible. So beginning today, change your thinking about the word deserve and just watch your weight begin to change!

1. Animal level. This level is about reacting rather than thinking. It’s the level of the fight or flight responses. As it relates to weight, at this level, anything that throws you off becomes a good excuse to overeat. “I had a bad day, so I’m going to eat _________ (fill in your food of choice) to make myself feel better.”

2. Mass level. This is where we are programmed to conform. The thinking is “they can’t all be wrong, so I’ll do it too.” Control is through fear; “what will they think of me?” As it relates to weight, at this level, it seems that “everyone else is eating fattening foods, so why not me too? They’ll think I’m weird if I don’t go to the burger joint and pig out with them.”

3. Aspiration level. This is where we want to go beyond where we currently are, however it’s desire without action. You’ll verbalize your intentions, “I’ve been meaning to lose weight”, however nothing changes. This is a very frustrating level to be at, and this frustration can cause a drop back to the Mass level.

4. Individual level. This is the level where we begin to take action.
We begin to express our own individuality, and move away from the crowd. This is where we begin to grow as a person, and that can be scary. This is also the level where most people fail. As it relates to weight, at this level, you may begin turning down invites to the burger joint, remembering that you want to stay on track with your healthy eating. However you may also give in and revert back to old habits.

5. Discipline level. This is where you give yourself a command and you follow it. As it relates to weight, at this level, if you say to yourself “I am not going to have second helpings anymore” you won’t have any more second helpings. You stick with what you promised yourself to do. You will sometimes fail, but more often than not you stick with your resolve.

6. Experience level. You achieve this level when you have practiced the Discipline level and you begin to experience change in results. The feedback from your experiences causes personal growth. You will occasionally meet with failure at this level, but you have the discipline to keep going. As it relates to weight, at this level, it means that you are experiencing physically and emotionally what it feels like to eat normally, and you are happy you are sticking with your plans.

7. Mastery level. At this level, you are responding to situations rather than reacting to them. You think and plan, and make choices. Your emotions are even and no longer controlling you around food. As it relates to weight, at this level, even if you have the worst day ever, you will stop and think about how you are going to respond. You will make conscious choices about how to deal with the stress, choosing healthier options than overeating.

So where are you in the Levels of Awareness as they relate to your weight? (they also relate relationships, finances, personal growth etc.) If you have been trying to lose weight, but with no success, you are stuck somewhere between levels 1 & 3, maybe even 4. However to truly master your weight, you must continue to work your way up the levels. And remember, the journey to mastery is not a straight line! There will be bumps in the road, and occasionally even a giant pot-hole, but you must keep going. So go easy on yourself when you do have a set-back, and just get back on track as quickly as you can.

Three little words, that when put into action, can give you everything you ever wanted, including your ideal weight.

You’re probably wondering how can three words, totalling only 8 letters, possibly be so powerful? Let me explain!

If you’ve read my book or heard me speak, you know that I am all about how the mind plays into our weight. The mind directs everything, EVERYTHING the body does. There’s not a single thing that happens in your body that hasn’t first passed through your mind. Some of these things are conscious (“I’m going to get up out of this chair now”) and some are subconscious (keeping the heart beating and the lungs inflating) but either way, the brain is involved.

So what does all that have to do with “Be. Do. Have.”?

It is widely known that in order to HAVE something, you first must BE (thinking like) the type of person you want to be in order to get yourself to DO what is required to HAVE that something.

So if what you want to HAVE is an ideal-weighted body, first and foremost you have to BE thinking the way an ideal-weighted person would be thinking, so that you will DO what is required to get to & stay at your ideal weight.

Never in a million years are you going to get to/stay at your ideal weight if you continue to think like an overweight person (“It’s ok for me to have a second helping at every meal”) because you will keep doing the things overweight people do, which are very different things than what healthy-weighted people do.

You must start thinking like a healthy-weighted person in order to do what is required, which will eventually get you there.

This is true not only for success with weight, but also for success in any area! Just think about it, do you think you’ll ever get rich by thinking like, and doing, what poor people do? Of course not. Or that your career will soar to new heights if you think like, and do the things that underachievers think and do? Again, of course not.

So why do we think our weight is any different? People unsuccessful at shedding pounds may want to be slim, but at the same time, they often spend so much time thinking about how hard controlling their appetite is, or how uncomfortable exercise is, and they create a mental block to their success. You cannot be successful if your thoughts are “unsuccessful”.

So beginning today start applying the “Be. Do. Have.” philosophy. BE thinking like a healthy-weighted person first, which will make it so much easier for you to DO the things you need to do in order to HAVE your body reach and stay at it’s ideal weight.

You can do it! It’s just three simple words. Be. Do. Have.

Watch:

Rogers Television: Go to: http://www.rogerstv.com/option.asp?lid=237&rid=17&mid=52&gid=68171

CKCO News – Health section, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVn7dCxAzwk

Breakfast TV, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr_xRM1gUhM

Listen:

Show: “Wellness Experience”
A fascinating discussion about obesity in America and how the media is contributing to the problem. Listen to the recording at:
www.blogtalkradio.com/WellnessExperience/2009/03/19/Food-Is-Not-Making-You-Fat/#comments

Show: “Intuitive Radio”
A lively discussion about how the brain fits into weight reduction and management. Listen to the recording at: www.intuitivesoul.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=285&Itemid=61

Show: “Achieve Radio”
A lively interviewer asking some great questions about weight, self-esteem, self-perception etc. Listen to the recording at: (It’s show #62):
www.achieveradio.com/yale-devereau/#arch

Show: “Holistic Health Show”
Stacey is interviewed by Dr Carl Helvie, educator, author and practitioner in health and wellness. Listen to the recording at: http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WDyjDbl4

Show: “Conversations Live with Vicki St. Clair”
Vicki and Stacey discuss weight and non-dieting ways to have less of it. Listen to the recording at:
http://conversationslive.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=127&Itemid=29

1. Go through the candy and pick out all the pieces that are not your favourites. Get rid of them immediately. That means throw them out, or get in the car and drop them off at collection places for food banks.

2. Now that you’ve narrowed down the stash to just your faves, put what you are keeping in the freezer. Better yet, put them in your neighbour’s freezer, they’ll be much harder to get at there!

3. Attach a picture of yourself at a weight you like to the freezer door. Look at this picture everytime you go for a candy. Remind yourself that the candy is not going to help you look like you look in the picture.

4. Everything in life has a cost, so wen you do decide to go ahead and have a candy, make yourself pay a fee. Make that fee either an extra workout, or add 30 minutes to your regular workout.

5. Go into your stash no more than once per day, or even less, like only 2-3 times per week. When you do choose to have any of your candy, really enjoy it. If you’re going to eat it, allow yourself to really enjoy it. Savour it, tasting every bite. This will allow you to get more out of the candy you’re eating, rather than eating more candy. You’ll find that you are way more satisfied with a lot less candy when you eat mindfully.

6. Watch how you speak to yourself as you are reaching for the candy. Are you thinking “I shouldn’t be doing this” or “I should just have an apple instead”? If so, remove the word “should” and instead use “I am choosing to….”. You always have a choice, remember that. So thinking “I am choosing to have the candy” is a better representation of what’s really going, and puts the power back into your hands.

7. If/When you do choose to have the candy, don’t feel guilty about having it. Even if you go completely overboard and eat way too much, you can’t go back and change what you did. And feeling guilty about it will cause an increase in cortisol in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone, which contributes to the accumulation of abdominal fat and makes it very difficult to get rid of it.

Use these tips, and just watch as you find yourself eating less candy this year!

After all, you’re already sweet enough!

And regardless of whether you celebrate this weekend, or next month in the US, if you’re like me, you’re day-dreaming about the abundance of yummy, seasonal foods that are about to be served on this holiday and can’t wait to dig in! But are you also feeling a wee bit nervous about how much food will be available, and your ability to control yourself around it all? Well read on for some great food-for-thought before you get into the real food!

This holiday is about celebrating abundance, and that got me thinking that if abundance is the theme, why do we eat everything in sight, as if there’s no more coming?

There’s a common thread amongst many overweight people in a sort-of ‘anti-abundance’ mentality. When something tasty is placed before them, often everything will be eaten at once, as if there is never, ever going to be any more of that yummy food, EVER.

I know there are many foods that seem to only be available this time of year, pumpkin pie being one example. I love pumpkin pie! Check out a great lo-cal and yummy version under ‘Tip of the Week’ on the homepage at www.WhyAreYouWeighting.com But if you can only get these seasonal foods for a week or so, wouldn’t it make sense then to stretch out the time you’ll be able to enjoy them, by saving some to have again over the next few days, instead of consuming it all in one sitting, and then spending the next few days wishing there were more and wishing you hadn’t pigged out?

So this year, why not try something different? Really enjoy your holiday food in moderate portions, and then put the rest away to enjoy again later over the next couple of days. Make it Thanksgiving week, where for dinner each day you enjoy just one of the many wonderful foods. Try something different each night. A small slice of pie for dessert on one night, the extra stuffing as a side dish on another night. Instead of eating everything in one meal, eat moderately the first time, and save the left-overs to spruce up dinner (or lunch) over the next couple of days.

This way, you’ll get to experience the wonderful tastes in your mouth more than once, and you’ll spread out your caloric intake over a much longer period, which your stomach, digestive system and hips will really appreciate!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have much to be thankful for myself, including all the readers of my blog, and all the wonderful members at Why Are You Weighting!

What are you thankful for this year? Leave a comment and let me know.

Turns out this person was really hoping I answered her question with something like “I took a magic pill and the weight just fell off”, which of course is not the answer I gave her!

We continued the conversation, and I asked her how long she had been hoping to find this magic pill. She said it had been years, years that she had spent being miserable in her overweight body. I asked what she had tried to do to lose weight, and she rhymed off a long list of diets she’d started but not finished, gym classes she’d signed up for but not attended, and various widgets and gidgets she had bought from the internet, none of which worked. (any of this sound familiar to you?)

She was clearly looking for the quick fix, and had wasted years (and lots of money) in her search for the “Holy Grail” of weight loss.

No wonder she was so disappointed when I told her that I had achieved my weight goals basically by doing three things:

1. Taking responsibility for myself and my actions, including my ways of thinking and looking at the world.
2. Asking for help from qualified people and organizations.
3. Being patient with my progress and kind with myself, which included learning to love myself regardless of what the scale said.

There is no magic pill and there aren’t any shortcuts on the road to your ideal weight. Stop wasting your time, energy and money trying to find these, they simply aren’t there. And instead, start working on the three items above, and watch what starts to happen with your weight. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. And I’m here to help with all three items, all you have to do is ask!

I think the answer here depends on the show. In the case of the “Biggest
Loser” the contestants could definately not be called “lazy fat people”, which is a common stereotype. Those contestants work very hard (some might argue too hard) to achieve their goals. The contestants are anything but lazy, and I can’t even imagine living life like they do, it’s totally unrealistic to expect anyone to work out 6 hours per day!

I think the new show “More to Love” presents the overweight women as
needy, having little self-esteem, and that definately plays into a
stereotype. In the dating world there is a group of men who believe that a
a “fat girl will always try harder to please, both in bed and out” because
of their lack of self-esteem. This show also reinforces the idea that it’s
ok for a man to be overweight and desirable….just look at all those
women vying for a fat guy. And the flip side of the coin is the fat girls
have to compete and prove their worth, while he gets to basically just
stand there. I think it would be far more stereotype-busting if the roles
were reversed here…a fat woman with a dozen men (of varying sizes) all
vying for her. That would get people talking!

There are pros and cons to all this weight-related tv.
Pros:
-Overweight people feeling less isolated as they see peers on tv, and realize they’re
not alone in their struggles.
-Overweight people being educated on nutrition, exercise etc.
-Overweight people watching others achieving their goals, whether
weight-related or socially-related.
-Access to overweight role models.
-Stereotype busting in some cases.

Cons:
-A sense that being overweight is ok, due to the societal de-sensitization of obesity, and growing acceptance of it.
-Sensationalism and profit on the backs of the overweight.
-Stereotype validation in some cases.

I also wonder how many non-fat people are watching these shows. I have reviewed many blogs around these various fat shows, and from what I can tell, the great majority of viewers are overweight people….meaning that
these shows are “preaching to the choir” so to speak. I am not sure that
they are educating the non-fat demographic at all. In fact, I wonder if
the title “The Biggest Loser” doesn’t just reinforce the notion that fat
people are losers amongst the non-fat.

I have a unique perspective on fat vs slim, as I have been both morbidly
obese and for the last 6+ years, entirely average-build. And when I was fat, I was miserable and felt very isolated. I thought I was alone in my struggles. And while it might have been comforting for me to know that there were others out there who were in the same boat, I wonder if finding that community might have thwarted my efforts to get and stay slim.

Finding a way to get and keep the weight off was a 25 year challenge for me, and I am beyond elated about life as an average sized person. Now that I am on the other side of the fence, I am grateful for the unease that being fat caused, which constantly propelled me to find a solution. Had I found a place where I was just one of the group of overweight people, I might have chosen the easier route, and just stayed fat. I am glad that didn’t happen.

Experts all agree that if you are working on breaking a bad habit, whether it be nail-biting, smoking and of course overeating, that you need to replace the bad habit with a good one. Nature hates a vacuum, and if you just stop doing the bad habit, without replacing it with something else, the bad habit will soon be back, occupying it’s old place.

Habits that can replace the overeating habit may include:
-waiting 20 minutes before eating
-drinking a glass of water instead
-going for a walk
-calling a friend
-journalling
-anything at all you find pleasant to do that is non-food related

For the first 21-30 days of quitting a bad habit, you are going to have to continually think about what you are working on not doing and what you will do instead. You will have to remind yourself of your commitment to breaking the habit, and that you have a new habit you are incorporating. It is normal during this first month or so to even temporarily forget about your new habit and end up doing what you said you weren’t going to do. So use Post-it notes placed in strategic places to remind you to stay on track. These little notes can be invaluable in these first few weeks, use tons of them!

But here’s the kicker. Everytime you stick with your plan, and do what you have promised yourself you will do, you actually set it up in your brain for it to be much easier to stay on track the next time you are tempted to stray. You literally reinforce the new thought connections in your mind, making it stronger and more prominent. Conversely, everytime you let yourself fall back into old habits, you reinforce the bad habit and make it harder to stay on the right track, and even harder to get back on track.

Remember this everytime you are tempted to fall off the healthy-eating bandwagon. Remind yourself that if you just stay on track this time, you are making it easier and easier to stay on track the next time, and the next time and every time after that. Each time strengthens this new thought pathway. (To learn more about how this happens, I suggest a great book called “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Dr Norman Doidge. It’s fascinating!)

And once this thought pathway has been created and strengthened, it will become your automatic response, replacing the old response of turning to food and overeating. You’ll know when this new habit has truly been cemented into your mind when you find yourself just doing the better choice, without having to have any internal dialogue about it first. It just happens. No bribing yourself, no see-sawing about which way to go, no anything really. It just happens. It takes time to get to this stage, and too many people quit before it happens.

The journey to your ideal weight is composed of a series of steps. Each bad habit you break and replace with a healthier one will lead you one step closer to your goal and your ideal weight. Stick with your new habits, and they will become part of, and take credit for creating the new you. I promise!

Everyone wants to get their extra pounds off as fast as possible, and often the radical “ripping off the band-aid” approach seems more appealing because you think you’ll get quicker results. This can mean not only a complete change in what you’ve been eating, but could also include changing where you eat, who you eat with, even what time you eat.

Massive change like this can leave you feeling overwhelmed and completely discombobulated. And this feeling of disorientation will often lead to a very strong urge for the familiar, which will then have you falling-off-the-bandwagon and right back where you started. Actually you’ll be worse off than when you started, because now you’ll also feel like a failure and thoughts like “what’s the use?” will start to pop up. This is not a good place to be.

With weight management, the baby-steps approach, while seemingly slower, will get you what you want. By changing your habits slowly, but surely, you will be building the foundation for a lifetime of being at your ideal weight.

So what do baby-steps look like for weight reduction? They are easy-to-implement, not-too-painful changes that you can make, that added up will produce profound results.

You might start by just changing your breakfast. Say you normally have a sugary cereal with whole milk. An easy switch to a healthier option could be having a sugar-free, whole grain cereal, topped with some fresh berries for sweetness. Then you could use 2% or even 1% milk, and your meal will still be satisfying to you, because it is familiar to what you are used to. This means you are more likely to stick with your changes until they become your new normal.

If you are a meat-lover, instead of becoming a full-fledged vegetarian overnight, try incorporating just one vegetarian meal each day, or if that seems like too much, aim for 3-4 veggies meals per week.

If you drink a lot of soda pop, you could begin to replace some of your drinks with soda water sweetened with fruit juice. (Don’t however just switch to sugar-free soda options, those are even unhealthier than their sugar-laden counterparts. Artificial sweeteners can wreak havoc on your health in so many ways!)

Even exercise can be gently incorporated into your life. Begin by walking an extra block to the bus, or parking at the back of the parking lot. Whenever possible, take the stairs instead of the elevator. Or get off the elevator a couple of floors below where you need to be and walk up a flight or two.

These types of changes are much easier to keep on track with. And remember, it is our habits that create our lives. So work slowly but surely on changing your habits in little baby steps, and before you know it, your life will have changed for the better, and you’ll look back and think it was almost painless! (And definitely worth it!)