Feeling that you deserve to have a “forbidden food” after a bad day is an example of how your thinking can be a roadblock to your success. Before I talk more about this, let’s just backtrack a bit first.

How did we ever get to the place where when something bad happens to us, we actually do further damage by taking an action that moves us further away from our goals, ultimately leaving us feeling even worse? And somehow we’ve convinced ourselves that doing this is treating ourselves well? It’s all mixed up.

I completely agree that after a bad day you deserve something, but I think that something should be something that helps to undo the effects of the day. A bad day might mean you deserve an apology, a massage, or even a good deal on auto-repair (for a really bad day, LOL). Unless you let it, a bad day does not give you permission to throw all that you’ve worked towards (with your weight) out the window. And that is exactly what’s happening when you decide you deserve to eat the cookies/french fries/entire pizza etc.

“Deserve” can denote either reward or punishment. “The athlete deserved the medal” versus “The murderer deserved the life sentence”. So ask yourself this: Why, when the universe has delivered a bad day to you, do you feel the need to punish yourself for it? And punish yourself is exactly what you are doing when you decide to go off track. And then later when you come to your senses, the punishment continues when you start to berate yourself for falling off the wagon. Instead, why not reward yourself for getting through such a bad day with something that truly does take the sting out and leaves you feeling good hours later.

One thing you truly do deserve everyday, is to live life at your ideal weight in the healthiest body possible. So beginning today, change your thinking about the word deserve and just watch your weight begin to change!

I bet there are all kinds of things you love! People, food, places, ideas,
music, sleeping, pets, books, movies, nature, architecture, poetry,
sports….the list is endless. And while none of us loves all things, we
all have things we do love.

Now here’s a question for you. Do you love yourself?

What was your first thought when you read the last sentence about loving
yourself?

Was it something about loving yourself being wrong? Wrong because to love
yourself would be conceited? Wrong because what would others think? Wrong
because you don’t think of yourself as a loveable person? Wrong because no
one else loves you? Wrong because people shouldn’t just walk around loving
themselves? Wrong because…….?

No matter what reason there is that you may believe that loving yourself
is wrong, that reason is wrong!

You are a magnificent being! You are worthy of being loved, no matter what
anyone else may have ever told you. And the first step to being loved is
to really love and accept yourself. Fully embracing yourself, all of
yourself.

Self-love is really the basis for self-esteem. And our level of
self-esteem determines what we will and won’t accept from life. Our level
of self-esteem determines what we think we are worth, from all
perspectives. What we think we can earn, the type of people we associate
with, the quality of our clothes, our cars, our houses, and what we weigh,
are all tied into our self-esteem.

It just makes sense that if you hold yourself in high-esteem, that you
will treat yourself with respect and care. Conversely, if your self-esteem
is low, your self-respect will be low too. And low self-respect doesn’t
translate into treating yourself well. And treating yourself well does not
include habits that lead to an unhealthy body. And an overweight body is
an unhealthy body.

Do you know that you are a marvellous creation? A truly remarkable human
being? That there is no one else on this planet that has the exact same
make up as you? You are as unique as a snowflake! And did you also know
that you have unique gifts to offer? Whether you are a great singer,
dancer, crossword-doer, baker, parent, friend, artist, writer,
sunset-watcher, gardener, decorator, cook, sports person, story-teller or
anything else, you have within you the capacity for greatness! You have
some unique talent(s) that others admire in you. Think about what this is.
If you aren’t sure what it is, or if you can’t even begin to believe this,
ask your nicest, closest friends for some insight. Your friends will be
able to tell you what they see you being good at. We are going to use this
information in just a minute.

We are going to use a technique we called Affirmations. An affirmation is
a statement you repeat over and over and over again to yourself, until you
actually start to believe it because it is programmed into your
subconscious. An affirmation is always done in the present tense, even
though sometimes this can seem like quite a stretch of the truth. So, to
make it easier for you to get going, we are going to start with your
personal area of strength that you know is true. This way we can “shore
up” your belief, and give you a good solid foundation.

A great way to start an affirmation is with the words “I am so happy and
grateful now that I ___________________________” and then fill in the
blank with your strength. So you might say “I am so happy and grateful now
that I am a great gardener, with a beautiful garden of gorgeous flowers”
or “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a great parent of a wonderful
child’ or “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a great
singer/artist/seamstress/bowler/salesperson etc etc”

Right now, I want to you to formulate your affirmation, and then memorize
it. You are going to repeat this statement to yourself many, many times
every day. You may want to put post-it notes all around to remind yourself
to do this! I personally have post-it notes on my bathroom mirror, in my
bedroom, and sometimes even in the kitchen! You can’t over do this, and
the more you do it, the faster your thinking will shift. Aim to say your
affirmation (out loud, or silently, depending on where you are at the
time) at least 100 times per day!

Again, don’t be concerned if it feels like you are really exagerating or
even lying to yourself. Just keep repeating it over and over and over each
day, and it will begin to feel like the truth, as it becomes the truth!

Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it is going to take some
time for you really cement this new of way of thinking about yourself.
You will know this technique working when you find yourself thinking
kinder, gentler thoughts about yourself. You may also notice that you
start feeling more optimistic about your life and the situations and
people in it. You will also notice that the way people respond to you
changes for the better too.

The reason everything in your life changes for the better when you
increase your self-esteem and self-respect is because your self-esteem
determines the “lens” through which you look at the world. Each of us sees
the outside world relative to our inside world. All our points of
reference are internal. By changing internally, you are also changing your
filters. So it is not really that the outside world is changed, it’s just
that you changed how you look it. You will begin to notice things you
never noticed before, and won’t notice things that used to get your
attention. It’s like looking thru a telescope…you will see only what you
focus the telescope on. By moving the telescope, your view will change.
That doesn’t mean the other view is not there, it is just not in your line
of sight. Changing the lens through which you look at the world will
change what you see and what gets your attention. This is a guarantee!

Begin today to fall in love with the most important person in your
life…YOU! It is a love affair that will last a lifetime and bring you
more joy and happiness than you can even imagine. And once you are in love
with you, watch how those around you start to fall under your spell too.
True love must start within, and then it can progress to the outside.

To your success!

Watch:

Rogers Television: Go to: http://www.rogerstv.com/option.asp?lid=237&rid=17&mid=52&gid=68171

CKCO News – Health section, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVn7dCxAzwk

Breakfast TV, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr_xRM1gUhM

Listen:

Show: “Wellness Experience”
A fascinating discussion about obesity in America and how the media is contributing to the problem. Listen to the recording at:
www.blogtalkradio.com/WellnessExperience/2009/03/19/Food-Is-Not-Making-You-Fat/#comments

Show: “Intuitive Radio”
A lively discussion about how the brain fits into weight reduction and management. Listen to the recording at: www.intuitivesoul.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=285&Itemid=61

Show: “Achieve Radio”
A lively interviewer asking some great questions about weight, self-esteem, self-perception etc. Listen to the recording at: (It’s show #62):
www.achieveradio.com/yale-devereau/#arch

Show: “Holistic Health Show”
Stacey is interviewed by Dr Carl Helvie, educator, author and practitioner in health and wellness. Listen to the recording at: http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WDyjDbl4

Show: “Conversations Live with Vicki St. Clair”
Vicki and Stacey discuss weight and non-dieting ways to have less of it. Listen to the recording at:
http://conversationslive.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=127&Itemid=29

1. Go through the candy and pick out all the pieces that are not your favourites. Get rid of them immediately. That means throw them out, or get in the car and drop them off at collection places for food banks.

2. Now that you’ve narrowed down the stash to just your faves, put what you are keeping in the freezer. Better yet, put them in your neighbour’s freezer, they’ll be much harder to get at there!

3. Attach a picture of yourself at a weight you like to the freezer door. Look at this picture everytime you go for a candy. Remind yourself that the candy is not going to help you look like you look in the picture.

4. Everything in life has a cost, so wen you do decide to go ahead and have a candy, make yourself pay a fee. Make that fee either an extra workout, or add 30 minutes to your regular workout.

5. Go into your stash no more than once per day, or even less, like only 2-3 times per week. When you do choose to have any of your candy, really enjoy it. If you’re going to eat it, allow yourself to really enjoy it. Savour it, tasting every bite. This will allow you to get more out of the candy you’re eating, rather than eating more candy. You’ll find that you are way more satisfied with a lot less candy when you eat mindfully.

6. Watch how you speak to yourself as you are reaching for the candy. Are you thinking “I shouldn’t be doing this” or “I should just have an apple instead”? If so, remove the word “should” and instead use “I am choosing to….”. You always have a choice, remember that. So thinking “I am choosing to have the candy” is a better representation of what’s really going, and puts the power back into your hands.

7. If/When you do choose to have the candy, don’t feel guilty about having it. Even if you go completely overboard and eat way too much, you can’t go back and change what you did. And feeling guilty about it will cause an increase in cortisol in your body. Cortisol is a stress hormone, which contributes to the accumulation of abdominal fat and makes it very difficult to get rid of it.

Use these tips, and just watch as you find yourself eating less candy this year!

After all, you’re already sweet enough!

Turns out this person was really hoping I answered her question with something like “I took a magic pill and the weight just fell off”, which of course is not the answer I gave her!

We continued the conversation, and I asked her how long she had been hoping to find this magic pill. She said it had been years, years that she had spent being miserable in her overweight body. I asked what she had tried to do to lose weight, and she rhymed off a long list of diets she’d started but not finished, gym classes she’d signed up for but not attended, and various widgets and gidgets she had bought from the internet, none of which worked. (any of this sound familiar to you?)

She was clearly looking for the quick fix, and had wasted years (and lots of money) in her search for the “Holy Grail” of weight loss.

No wonder she was so disappointed when I told her that I had achieved my weight goals basically by doing three things:

1. Taking responsibility for myself and my actions, including my ways of thinking and looking at the world.
2. Asking for help from qualified people and organizations.
3. Being patient with my progress and kind with myself, which included learning to love myself regardless of what the scale said.

There is no magic pill and there aren’t any shortcuts on the road to your ideal weight. Stop wasting your time, energy and money trying to find these, they simply aren’t there. And instead, start working on the three items above, and watch what starts to happen with your weight. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. And I’m here to help with all three items, all you have to do is ask!

I think the answer here depends on the show. In the case of the “Biggest
Loser” the contestants could definately not be called “lazy fat people”, which is a common stereotype. Those contestants work very hard (some might argue too hard) to achieve their goals. The contestants are anything but lazy, and I can’t even imagine living life like they do, it’s totally unrealistic to expect anyone to work out 6 hours per day!

I think the new show “More to Love” presents the overweight women as
needy, having little self-esteem, and that definately plays into a
stereotype. In the dating world there is a group of men who believe that a
a “fat girl will always try harder to please, both in bed and out” because
of their lack of self-esteem. This show also reinforces the idea that it’s
ok for a man to be overweight and desirable….just look at all those
women vying for a fat guy. And the flip side of the coin is the fat girls
have to compete and prove their worth, while he gets to basically just
stand there. I think it would be far more stereotype-busting if the roles
were reversed here…a fat woman with a dozen men (of varying sizes) all
vying for her. That would get people talking!

There are pros and cons to all this weight-related tv.
Pros:
-Overweight people feeling less isolated as they see peers on tv, and realize they’re
not alone in their struggles.
-Overweight people being educated on nutrition, exercise etc.
-Overweight people watching others achieving their goals, whether
weight-related or socially-related.
-Access to overweight role models.
-Stereotype busting in some cases.

Cons:
-A sense that being overweight is ok, due to the societal de-sensitization of obesity, and growing acceptance of it.
-Sensationalism and profit on the backs of the overweight.
-Stereotype validation in some cases.

I also wonder how many non-fat people are watching these shows. I have reviewed many blogs around these various fat shows, and from what I can tell, the great majority of viewers are overweight people….meaning that
these shows are “preaching to the choir” so to speak. I am not sure that
they are educating the non-fat demographic at all. In fact, I wonder if
the title “The Biggest Loser” doesn’t just reinforce the notion that fat
people are losers amongst the non-fat.

I have a unique perspective on fat vs slim, as I have been both morbidly
obese and for the last 6+ years, entirely average-build. And when I was fat, I was miserable and felt very isolated. I thought I was alone in my struggles. And while it might have been comforting for me to know that there were others out there who were in the same boat, I wonder if finding that community might have thwarted my efforts to get and stay slim.

Finding a way to get and keep the weight off was a 25 year challenge for me, and I am beyond elated about life as an average sized person. Now that I am on the other side of the fence, I am grateful for the unease that being fat caused, which constantly propelled me to find a solution. Had I found a place where I was just one of the group of overweight people, I might have chosen the easier route, and just stayed fat. I am glad that didn’t happen.

Experts all agree that if you are working on breaking a bad habit, whether it be nail-biting, smoking and of course overeating, that you need to replace the bad habit with a good one. Nature hates a vacuum, and if you just stop doing the bad habit, without replacing it with something else, the bad habit will soon be back, occupying it’s old place.

Habits that can replace the overeating habit may include:
-waiting 20 minutes before eating
-drinking a glass of water instead
-going for a walk
-calling a friend
-journalling
-anything at all you find pleasant to do that is non-food related

For the first 21-30 days of quitting a bad habit, you are going to have to continually think about what you are working on not doing and what you will do instead. You will have to remind yourself of your commitment to breaking the habit, and that you have a new habit you are incorporating. It is normal during this first month or so to even temporarily forget about your new habit and end up doing what you said you weren’t going to do. So use Post-it notes placed in strategic places to remind you to stay on track. These little notes can be invaluable in these first few weeks, use tons of them!

But here’s the kicker. Everytime you stick with your plan, and do what you have promised yourself you will do, you actually set it up in your brain for it to be much easier to stay on track the next time you are tempted to stray. You literally reinforce the new thought connections in your mind, making it stronger and more prominent. Conversely, everytime you let yourself fall back into old habits, you reinforce the bad habit and make it harder to stay on the right track, and even harder to get back on track.

Remember this everytime you are tempted to fall off the healthy-eating bandwagon. Remind yourself that if you just stay on track this time, you are making it easier and easier to stay on track the next time, and the next time and every time after that. Each time strengthens this new thought pathway. (To learn more about how this happens, I suggest a great book called “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Dr Norman Doidge. It’s fascinating!)

And once this thought pathway has been created and strengthened, it will become your automatic response, replacing the old response of turning to food and overeating. You’ll know when this new habit has truly been cemented into your mind when you find yourself just doing the better choice, without having to have any internal dialogue about it first. It just happens. No bribing yourself, no see-sawing about which way to go, no anything really. It just happens. It takes time to get to this stage, and too many people quit before it happens.

The journey to your ideal weight is composed of a series of steps. Each bad habit you break and replace with a healthier one will lead you one step closer to your goal and your ideal weight. Stick with your new habits, and they will become part of, and take credit for creating the new you. I promise!

Everyone wants to get their extra pounds off as fast as possible, and often the radical “ripping off the band-aid” approach seems more appealing because you think you’ll get quicker results. This can mean not only a complete change in what you’ve been eating, but could also include changing where you eat, who you eat with, even what time you eat.

Massive change like this can leave you feeling overwhelmed and completely discombobulated. And this feeling of disorientation will often lead to a very strong urge for the familiar, which will then have you falling-off-the-bandwagon and right back where you started. Actually you’ll be worse off than when you started, because now you’ll also feel like a failure and thoughts like “what’s the use?” will start to pop up. This is not a good place to be.

With weight management, the baby-steps approach, while seemingly slower, will get you what you want. By changing your habits slowly, but surely, you will be building the foundation for a lifetime of being at your ideal weight.

So what do baby-steps look like for weight reduction? They are easy-to-implement, not-too-painful changes that you can make, that added up will produce profound results.

You might start by just changing your breakfast. Say you normally have a sugary cereal with whole milk. An easy switch to a healthier option could be having a sugar-free, whole grain cereal, topped with some fresh berries for sweetness. Then you could use 2% or even 1% milk, and your meal will still be satisfying to you, because it is familiar to what you are used to. This means you are more likely to stick with your changes until they become your new normal.

If you are a meat-lover, instead of becoming a full-fledged vegetarian overnight, try incorporating just one vegetarian meal each day, or if that seems like too much, aim for 3-4 veggies meals per week.

If you drink a lot of soda pop, you could begin to replace some of your drinks with soda water sweetened with fruit juice. (Don’t however just switch to sugar-free soda options, those are even unhealthier than their sugar-laden counterparts. Artificial sweeteners can wreak havoc on your health in so many ways!)

Even exercise can be gently incorporated into your life. Begin by walking an extra block to the bus, or parking at the back of the parking lot. Whenever possible, take the stairs instead of the elevator. Or get off the elevator a couple of floors below where you need to be and walk up a flight or two.

These types of changes are much easier to keep on track with. And remember, it is our habits that create our lives. So work slowly but surely on changing your habits in little baby steps, and before you know it, your life will have changed for the better, and you’ll look back and think it was almost painless! (And definitely worth it!)

Have you lost weight but still feel just as big as you were before? Well, there’s an explanation for that – “Phantom fat” can linger after weight loss.

Specialists are coining the term “phantom fat” to describe the mental body-image issues a person can go through, despite having lost even a dramatic amount of weight. It’s feeling fat even though you’ve lost weight.

Psychologist Elayne Daniels tells MSNBC: “People who were formerly overweight often still carry that internal image, perception, with them.”

“They literally feel as if they’re in a large body still.”

For many, losing weight is a joyful experience that leads to them feeling healthier and sexier, but for some, their former perception of themselves as “fat” hinders their ability to improve their self-image and self-esteem.

If you’re struggling with “phantom fat”, just try to remember one thing – the scale doesn’t lie! You may “feel” fat, but that doesn’t mean you are! Even models “feel” unattractive! Try to find things about your body that you love and most importantly – give yourself time to adjust – and keep up the good work! (end of article)

Phantom Fat (I love that term!) is the reason so many people regain the weight after the diet is over. If you still feel fat, you are going to become fat again. I know this is true, I lived it. It took me years to get rid of my Phantom Fat, much longer than it took to get rid of the real fat! That’s why I wrote the book, to show others how to do the same.

I have to say I am amazed at the media coverage of your recent admission of weight gain, especially now, 5 months after you came out about your higher weight. But just yesterday I ran across another article about it, and I just felt that I had to say something.

First off, with all that’s going on in the world, I can’t believe anyone’s weight is really front page news. But apparently it is. Just shows how weight-obsessed our society is.

And as someone who has gone through what you are going through, I feel your pain, I really do. I know what it’s like to shed and then regain the weight with only a handful of people watching me; I can only imagine how awful it must be for you, with millions scrutinizing your every ounce.

I also know that you came out about your weight in an effort to help others, but now, a few months down the road, the opposite effect seems to be happening. Every day I hear someone say something along the lines of “If Oprah can’t do it (keep the weight off) with all her cooks, trainers, etc, how the hell will I, a mere mortal, ever be able to do it? I might as well just give up now.”

I am a mortal who did it. So it can be done, I’m living proof.

Oprah, this is true for you just as it is for every single one of us: If you don’t deal with what’s on the inside, you will never permanently deal with what’s on the outside. Basically it comes down to this: lose the baggage, lose the weight. Even you, the richest woman in the world, and certainly one of the most powerful and influential, can’t escape what’s going on on the inside.

And while you have a bevy of people advising you, I have to ask…have any of them actually done what you are trying to do, or are they theorists? I suspect theorists, because even with all the advice you’ve received, you haven’t been able to keep the weight off. There’s a piece of the puzzle you are still missing.

Oprah, figure out what’s eating you, so you can stop eating. It’s that simple and that complicated. I know, because I did it. I figured it out for me and shed 135 lbs which have stayed off for years now. My issues aren’t your issues, but you have issues you must deal with.

I wish you well on your journey! Remember, lose the baggage, lose the weight. If I can help you at all, please get in touch! (I’d be happy to be “your baggage handler”!) And don’t worry, my people will take your call!

Hope to hear from you soon!
Stacey