I bet there are all kinds of things you love! People, food, places, ideas,
music, sleeping, pets, books, movies, nature, architecture, poetry,
sports….the list is endless. And while none of us loves all things, we
all have things we do love.

Now here’s a question for you. Do you love yourself?

What was your first thought when you read the last sentence about loving
yourself?

Was it something about loving yourself being wrong? Wrong because to love
yourself would be conceited? Wrong because what would others think? Wrong
because you don’t think of yourself as a loveable person? Wrong because no
one else loves you? Wrong because people shouldn’t just walk around loving
themselves? Wrong because…….?

No matter what reason there is that you may believe that loving yourself
is wrong, that reason is wrong!

You are a magnificent being! You are worthy of being loved, no matter what
anyone else may have ever told you. And the first step to being loved is
to really love and accept yourself. Fully embracing yourself, all of
yourself.

Self-love is really the basis for self-esteem. And our level of
self-esteem determines what we will and won’t accept from life. Our level
of self-esteem determines what we think we are worth, from all
perspectives. What we think we can earn, the type of people we associate
with, the quality of our clothes, our cars, our houses, and what we weigh,
are all tied into our self-esteem.

It just makes sense that if you hold yourself in high-esteem, that you
will treat yourself with respect and care. Conversely, if your self-esteem
is low, your self-respect will be low too. And low self-respect doesn’t
translate into treating yourself well. And treating yourself well does not
include habits that lead to an unhealthy body. And an overweight body is
an unhealthy body.

Do you know that you are a marvellous creation? A truly remarkable human
being? That there is no one else on this planet that has the exact same
make up as you? You are as unique as a snowflake! And did you also know
that you have unique gifts to offer? Whether you are a great singer,
dancer, crossword-doer, baker, parent, friend, artist, writer,
sunset-watcher, gardener, decorator, cook, sports person, story-teller or
anything else, you have within you the capacity for greatness! You have
some unique talent(s) that others admire in you. Think about what this is.
If you aren’t sure what it is, or if you can’t even begin to believe this,
ask your nicest, closest friends for some insight. Your friends will be
able to tell you what they see you being good at. We are going to use this
information in just a minute.

We are going to use a technique we called Affirmations. An affirmation is
a statement you repeat over and over and over again to yourself, until you
actually start to believe it because it is programmed into your
subconscious. An affirmation is always done in the present tense, even
though sometimes this can seem like quite a stretch of the truth. So, to
make it easier for you to get going, we are going to start with your
personal area of strength that you know is true. This way we can “shore
up” your belief, and give you a good solid foundation.

A great way to start an affirmation is with the words “I am so happy and
grateful now that I ___________________________” and then fill in the
blank with your strength. So you might say “I am so happy and grateful now
that I am a great gardener, with a beautiful garden of gorgeous flowers”
or “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a great parent of a wonderful
child’ or “I am so happy and grateful now that I am a great
singer/artist/seamstress/bowler/salesperson etc etc”

Right now, I want to you to formulate your affirmation, and then memorize
it. You are going to repeat this statement to yourself many, many times
every day. You may want to put post-it notes all around to remind yourself
to do this! I personally have post-it notes on my bathroom mirror, in my
bedroom, and sometimes even in the kitchen! You can’t over do this, and
the more you do it, the faster your thinking will shift. Aim to say your
affirmation (out loud, or silently, depending on where you are at the
time) at least 100 times per day!

Again, don’t be concerned if it feels like you are really exagerating or
even lying to yourself. Just keep repeating it over and over and over each
day, and it will begin to feel like the truth, as it becomes the truth!

Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it is going to take some
time for you really cement this new of way of thinking about yourself.
You will know this technique working when you find yourself thinking
kinder, gentler thoughts about yourself. You may also notice that you
start feeling more optimistic about your life and the situations and
people in it. You will also notice that the way people respond to you
changes for the better too.

The reason everything in your life changes for the better when you
increase your self-esteem and self-respect is because your self-esteem
determines the “lens” through which you look at the world. Each of us sees
the outside world relative to our inside world. All our points of
reference are internal. By changing internally, you are also changing your
filters. So it is not really that the outside world is changed, it’s just
that you changed how you look it. You will begin to notice things you
never noticed before, and won’t notice things that used to get your
attention. It’s like looking thru a telescope…you will see only what you
focus the telescope on. By moving the telescope, your view will change.
That doesn’t mean the other view is not there, it is just not in your line
of sight. Changing the lens through which you look at the world will
change what you see and what gets your attention. This is a guarantee!

Begin today to fall in love with the most important person in your
life…YOU! It is a love affair that will last a lifetime and bring you
more joy and happiness than you can even imagine. And once you are in love
with you, watch how those around you start to fall under your spell too.
True love must start within, and then it can progress to the outside.

To your success!

Watch:

CKCO News – Health section, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVn7dCxAzwk

Breakfast TV, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nr_xRM1gUhM

Listen:

Show: “Wellness Experience”
A fascinating discussion about obesity in America and how the media is contributing to the problem. Listen to the recording at:
www.blogtalkradio.com/WellnessExperience/2009/03/19/Food-Is-Not-Making-You-Fat/#comments

Show: “Intuitive Radio”
A lively discussion about how the brain fits into weight reduction and management. Listen to the recording at: www.intuitivesoul.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=285&Itemid=61

Show: “Achieve Radio”
A lively interviewer asking some great questions about weight, self-esteem, self-perception etc. Listen to the recording at: (It’s show #62):
www.achieveradio.com/yale-devereau/#arch

Show: “Holistic Health Show”
Stacey is interviewed by Dr Carl Helvie, educator, author and practitioner in health and wellness. Listen to the recording at: http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WDyjDbl4

Show: “Conversations Live with Vicki St. Clair”
Vicki and Stacey discuss weight and non-dieting ways to have less of it. Listen to the recording at:
http://conversationslive.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=127&Itemid=29

Turns out this person was really hoping I answered her question with something like “I took a magic pill and the weight just fell off”, which of course is not the answer I gave her!

We continued the conversation, and I asked her how long she had been hoping to find this magic pill. She said it had been years, years that she had spent being miserable in her overweight body. I asked what she had tried to do to lose weight, and she rhymed off a long list of diets she’d started but not finished, gym classes she’d signed up for but not attended, and various widgets and gidgets she had bought from the internet, none of which worked. (any of this sound familiar to you?)

She was clearly looking for the quick fix, and had wasted years (and lots of money) in her search for the “Holy Grail” of weight loss.

No wonder she was so disappointed when I told her that I had achieved my weight goals basically by doing three things:

1. Taking responsibility for myself and my actions, including my ways of thinking and looking at the world.
2. Asking for help from qualified people and organizations.
3. Being patient with my progress and kind with myself, which included learning to love myself regardless of what the scale said.

There is no magic pill and there aren’t any shortcuts on the road to your ideal weight. Stop wasting your time, energy and money trying to find these, they simply aren’t there. And instead, start working on the three items above, and watch what starts to happen with your weight. It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. And I’m here to help with all three items, all you have to do is ask!

I think the answer here depends on the show. In the case of the “Biggest
Loser” the contestants could definately not be called “lazy fat people”, which is a common stereotype. Those contestants work very hard (some might argue too hard) to achieve their goals. The contestants are anything but lazy, and I can’t even imagine living life like they do, it’s totally unrealistic to expect anyone to work out 6 hours per day!

I think the new show “More to Love” presents the overweight women as
needy, having little self-esteem, and that definately plays into a
stereotype. In the dating world there is a group of men who believe that a
a “fat girl will always try harder to please, both in bed and out” because
of their lack of self-esteem. This show also reinforces the idea that it’s
ok for a man to be overweight and desirable….just look at all those
women vying for a fat guy. And the flip side of the coin is the fat girls
have to compete and prove their worth, while he gets to basically just
stand there. I think it would be far more stereotype-busting if the roles
were reversed here…a fat woman with a dozen men (of varying sizes) all
vying for her. That would get people talking!

There are pros and cons to all this weight-related tv.
Pros:
-Overweight people feeling less isolated as they see peers on tv, and realize they’re
not alone in their struggles.
-Overweight people being educated on nutrition, exercise etc.
-Overweight people watching others achieving their goals, whether
weight-related or socially-related.
-Access to overweight role models.
-Stereotype busting in some cases.

Cons:
-A sense that being overweight is ok, due to the societal de-sensitization of obesity, and growing acceptance of it.
-Sensationalism and profit on the backs of the overweight.
-Stereotype validation in some cases.

I also wonder how many non-fat people are watching these shows. I have reviewed many blogs around these various fat shows, and from what I can tell, the great majority of viewers are overweight people….meaning that
these shows are “preaching to the choir” so to speak. I am not sure that
they are educating the non-fat demographic at all. In fact, I wonder if
the title “The Biggest Loser” doesn’t just reinforce the notion that fat
people are losers amongst the non-fat.

I have a unique perspective on fat vs slim, as I have been both morbidly
obese and for the last 6+ years, entirely average-build. And when I was fat, I was miserable and felt very isolated. I thought I was alone in my struggles. And while it might have been comforting for me to know that there were others out there who were in the same boat, I wonder if finding that community might have thwarted my efforts to get and stay slim.

Finding a way to get and keep the weight off was a 25 year challenge for me, and I am beyond elated about life as an average sized person. Now that I am on the other side of the fence, I am grateful for the unease that being fat caused, which constantly propelled me to find a solution. Had I found a place where I was just one of the group of overweight people, I might have chosen the easier route, and just stayed fat. I am glad that didn’t happen.

1. Animal level. This level is about reacting rather than thinking. It’s the level of the fight or flight responses. As it relates to weight, at this level, anything that throws you off becomes a good excuse to overeat. “I had a bad day, so I’m going to eat _________ (fill in your food of choice) to make myself feel better.”

2. Mass level. This is where we are programmed to conform. The thinking is “they can’t all be wrong, so I’ll do it too.” Control is through fear; “what will they think of me?” As it relates to weight, at this level, it seems that “everyone else is eating fattening foods, so why not me too? They’ll think I’m weird if I don’t go to the burger joint and pig out with them.”

3. Aspiration level. This is where we want to go beyond where we currently are, however it’s desire without action. You’ll verbalize your intentions, “I’ve been meaning to lose weight”, however nothing changes. This is a very frustrating level to be at, and this frustration can cause a drop back to the Mass level.

4. Individual level. This is the level where we begin to take action.
We begin to express our own individuality, and move away from the crowd. This is where we begin to grow as a person, and that can be scary. This is also the level where most people fail. As it relates to weight, at this level, you may begin turning down invites to the burger joint, remembering that you want to stay on track with your healthy eating. However you may also give in and revert back to old habits.

5. Discipline level. This is where you give yourself a command and you follow it. As it relates to weight, at this level, if you say to yourself “I am not going to have second helpings anymore” you won’t have any more second helpings. You stick with what you promised yourself to do. You will sometimes fail, but more often than not you stick with your resolve.

6. Experience level. You achieve this level when you have practiced the Discipline level and you begin to experience change in results. The feedback from your experiences causes personal growth. You will occasionally meet with failure at this level, but you have the discipline to keep going. As it relates to weight, at this level, it means that you are experiencing physically and emotionally what it feels like to eat normally, and you are happy you are sticking with your plans.

7. Mastery level. At this level, you are responding to situations rather than reacting to them. You think and plan, and make choices. Your emotions are even and no longer controlling you around food. As it relates to weight, at this level, even if you have the worst day ever, you will stop and think about how you are going to respond. You will make conscious choices about how to deal with the stress, choosing healthier options than overeating.

So where are you in the Levels of Awareness as they relate to your weight? (they also relate relationships, finances, personal growth etc.) If you have been trying to lose weight, but with no success, you are stuck somewhere between levels 1 & 3, maybe even 4. However to truly master your weight, you must continue to work your way up the levels. And remember, the journey to mastery is not a straight line! There will be bumps in the road, and occasionally even a giant pot-hole, but you must keep going. So go easy on yourself when you do have a set-back, and just get back on track as quickly as you can.

Experts all agree that if you are working on breaking a bad habit, whether it be nail-biting, smoking and of course overeating, that you need to replace the bad habit with a good one. Nature hates a vacuum, and if you just stop doing the bad habit, without replacing it with something else, the bad habit will soon be back, occupying it’s old place.

Habits that can replace the overeating habit may include:
-waiting 20 minutes before eating
-drinking a glass of water instead
-going for a walk
-calling a friend
-journalling
-anything at all you find pleasant to do that is non-food related

For the first 21-30 days of quitting a bad habit, you are going to have to continually think about what you are working on not doing and what you will do instead. You will have to remind yourself of your commitment to breaking the habit, and that you have a new habit you are incorporating. It is normal during this first month or so to even temporarily forget about your new habit and end up doing what you said you weren’t going to do. So use Post-it notes placed in strategic places to remind you to stay on track. These little notes can be invaluable in these first few weeks, use tons of them!

But here’s the kicker. Everytime you stick with your plan, and do what you have promised yourself you will do, you actually set it up in your brain for it to be much easier to stay on track the next time you are tempted to stray. You literally reinforce the new thought connections in your mind, making it stronger and more prominent. Conversely, everytime you let yourself fall back into old habits, you reinforce the bad habit and make it harder to stay on the right track, and even harder to get back on track.

Remember this everytime you are tempted to fall off the healthy-eating bandwagon. Remind yourself that if you just stay on track this time, you are making it easier and easier to stay on track the next time, and the next time and every time after that. Each time strengthens this new thought pathway. (To learn more about how this happens, I suggest a great book called “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Dr Norman Doidge. It’s fascinating!)

And once this thought pathway has been created and strengthened, it will become your automatic response, replacing the old response of turning to food and overeating. You’ll know when this new habit has truly been cemented into your mind when you find yourself just doing the better choice, without having to have any internal dialogue about it first. It just happens. No bribing yourself, no see-sawing about which way to go, no anything really. It just happens. It takes time to get to this stage, and too many people quit before it happens.

The journey to your ideal weight is composed of a series of steps. Each bad habit you break and replace with a healthier one will lead you one step closer to your goal and your ideal weight. Stick with your new habits, and they will become part of, and take credit for creating the new you. I promise!

I was out for lunch today with a friend, someone who is currently going through the Triumph! Weight Coaching, so I took the opportunity to show her a few of my eating ‘tricks’ in action!

Because it was close to home, and a personal favourite of both of ours, we decided on Indian cuisine for our lunch. My friend eats meat, and I am a vegetarian, so we chose a buffet restaurant so we could both have what we wanted.

At the buffet, there was a myriad of options beyond just the traditional Indian fare. In addition they had fresh vegetables and fruit, as well as assorted salads. It is because of these fresh foods that this particular restaurant has become one of my favourites, because I can use a couple of my ‘tricks’ here to keep a lid on my food intake.

The first trick I used was to load my plate up with fresh lettuce, instead of the usual rice. Because many Indian dishes are stew-like, with yummy sauces, they are traditionally eaten with rice, to absorb the sauce. Rice (especially white rice) is heavy in calories and light in nutrients, so I use the lettuce instead. Once I had the lettuce on my plate, I put the various stews on top, and I had the exact same satisfaction, but much less calories than if I had chosen the rice.

The second trick I used at lunch today involved my return trip to the buffet. On my first trip, I took a little of this and a little of that, and then decided which my favourites were. On my return trip, instead of picking up a full-sized plate, I took a small dessert plate, and again put lettuce on it, and then chose just a spoonful of each of my favourites from round one. Because I was using a much smaller plate, I obviously could only put a smaller amount of food on it, yet didn’t feel deprived because my plate was full!

So try these tricks yourself and look for opportunities to create even more tricks! Be sure to share with us any new tricks you come up with!

Did you know that there exists another self-portrait that only you can see? And that whether you realize it or not, you refer to this portrait many, many times a day?

Some of us have these portraits that look like they are works of art, truly beautiful, our own “Mona Lisa’s”! And others of us have ones that look like more like Munsch’s “The Scream”, rather dark and scary.

What are these portraits I am referring to? And where do you see them everyday?

These portraits are your minds-eye view of yourself, the image you hold in your mind of what you look like. Details of your mind’s-eye view can include your height, your weight, your haircolour, your style of clothing, even your level of happiness.

We all hold an internal picture of ourselves, it is part of the human experience. It helps us to direct our actions and plan our futures. Have you ever heard someone say “I just can’t picture myself doing ______” when you make a suggestion to them? What they are really saying is that your suggestion doesn’t match the view they hold of themselves, so there’s no fit. And if someone just can’t see themselves doing something, you can be sure they aren’t going to do it.

And this is true in the weight area as well. Regardless of what the scales say, if someone just can’t see themselves as slim, they are never going to be able to remain slim for long. They may get slim for a while, but they won’t stay there. This is because the mind’s eye-view of a person is the benchmark that the brain uses to determine what to do, and what not to do, to support the mental picture.

This is why CEO’s will never be garbagemen, and garbagemen will never be CEO’s…each just doesn’t see him/herself in the other role.

And this is so important to understand re weight. To achieve permanent weight results, you simply must update your mind’s eye view of yourself as that of a slim person. And the sooner on your journey that you you do this, the easier your path to slimness will be.

So begin today to view yourself at your ideal weight. Get rid of all your “fat pictures” around your house, and replace them with slim pictures of yourself. Look at these pictures everyday to reprogram your brain into seeing you as slim. Because the brain directs everything we do, everything, having a slim mind’s eye view of yourself will cause your brain to direct you into doing/not doing those things that will support your internal vision of yourself. When you hold a slim internal view of yourself, you’ll find that you simply won’t want to overeat, and it won’t seem so hard, nor will you feel deprived.

Conversely, if you hold a fat image of yourself internally, no matter how hard you try to diet or exercise, your brain will eventually lead you back into the actions that will carry you back into being heavy again.

Willpower is not the answer. A slim internal view of yourself is a big part of the answer. So go create your own personal internal Mona Lisa right now! Create a masterpiece, and watch your imagination turn into reality!

Every goal, in any area of life, has a price you have to pay in order to achieve it.

Many people would love to be a professional athlete, yet how many are willing to pay the price of endless hours of practice?

Many people would love to own their own businesses, but how many are willing to pay the price in hours spent working and developing the idea, finding the money, and taking the necessary risks that all business owners must take?

And living life in your ideal-weighted body has a price too. You simply cannot continue on doing what you’ve been doing and expect different results. The results in ANYTHING only change when what you’ve been doing to get the results change!

So reframe your efforts to be those of life-style changes, changes you can live with even after you have achieved your ideal weight. If you are currently reducing your weight, and are focused on what you are missing and can’t wait to get it all back, you are going to end up getting back far more than you bargained for….you’ll get back all the weight you’ve shed too!

Change your mind and your thinking to change your weight. It’s the only permanent way to do so!

Watch: Go to: www.youtube.com/whyareyouweighting

Listen:
Show: “Wellness Experience”
A fascinating discussion about obesity in America and how the media is contributing to the problem. Listen to the recording at:
www.blogtalkradio.com/WellnessExperience/2009/03/19/Food-Is-Not-Making-You-Fat/#comments

Show: “Intuitive Radio” A lively discussion about how the brain fits into weight reduction and management. Listen to the recording at: www.intuitivesoul.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=285&Itemid=61

Show: “Achieve Radio”
A lively interviewer asking some great questions about weight, self-esteem, self-perception etc. To listen in,: (It’s show #62):
www.achieveradio.com/yale-devereau/#arch

Show: “Holistic Health Show”
Stacey is interviewed by Dr Carl Helvie, educator, author and practitioner in health and wellness. Listen to the recording at: http://www.audioacrobat.com/play/WDyjDbl4

Show: “Conversations Live with Vicki St. Clair” Vicki and Stacey discuss weight and non-dieting ways to have less of it. Listen to the recording at:
http://conversationslive.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=127&Itemid=29